


#FallingForFame

by Gayson



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: #PrayForYakov, Alternate Careers AU, Alternate Universe - Actors, Chris is a model for playboy, Drunken Shenanigans, Eventual Smut, Everyone's gay, F/F, Horrible meme humor because fuck you, I can thats why, It's a reality TV show they go on, M/M, Memes, Minami is a dancer and fanboy, Romantic Comedy, Sassy Yuuri, Smitten Viktor, Social Media, Stripper Yuuri, Yurio and Mila are actors too, Yuuri's in a K-pop band, an aggressive moose comes in later, dj otabek, everyones a celebrity, light angst til it's not, lots of yelling, rockstar JJ, sara and Mickey duet singers cuz why not, twitter wars, viktor's a famous actor, yurio is stuck in the middle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-11-18 14:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11292873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayson/pseuds/Gayson
Summary: "A TV show?" Good lord, Phichit was obviously excited if the slight crack at the end of his sentence indicated anything. "Are we gonna be on TV? Guest stars to a show?Are we getting our own reality show?!"They were all wild guesses, but that last option made Yuuri grimace. He never was a fan for cameras and the thought of those pesky devices following his every move, especially the fact that it would infiltrate his more private life, was a migraine in the making. Luckily, Celestino had begun to shake his head and Yuuri couldn't help the relief that swelled within him. Looks like God was real and everything in the world was-"It's kinda like a reality show. It is one, but instead of just the band, it would be other high ranked celebrities you room with inside a big mansion for an entire summer."-shit. The world was shit and the deity above was cackling like the joker at Yuuri's mortified face.✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: *Introducing my Reality TV show AU where 15 celebrities are housed together for a whole summer and the world comes to a conclusion that they're all helpless idiots.





	1. Surprise Motherfuckers

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Yuuri's band is called "3AM SoNs" because I got this idea and wrote it all during 3am. It's a full circle yo. 
> 
> Shout out to my insomniac fam on Amino that got me obsessed with BTS and encouraged me to produce this trash. I love you people and have no idea why you accepted my shameless ass to be your Amiga. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited by WarriorNun

  

_"Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and that makes you sad"_

_-Someone idk_

 

* * *

 

Is it weird to think your friend has nice nipples?

To be fair, yes, give him a break; this isn't a normal thought that occurs on the daily. No, if you're fascinated by your good pals titties then you're likely not normal. You're weird, and he's probably kink shaming you when he thinks this, but Seung-Gil doesn't want to befriend anyone with a nipple kink.

Honestly, something like this should be alarming for most, but as the Korean man gazes down at the snapchat picture captioned of a shirtless Yuuri Katauki declaring, _'Bet ya wanna lick my nips'_ all he can do is skeptically raise a brow in short amusement.

This dumb bitch was shit-faced.

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Promptly five hours before things went fuckin nuts, an anxious ball of nerves sat in the middle of a comfy couch with a heavy weight on his shoulders.

~~Fuck you life.~~

"We don't have to sign the contract if you don't wanna. We either all go or none of us at all." Phichit-god bless his hamster loving soul- declared fiercely.

And god dammit, that _was_ the problem. Yuuri Katsuki, above said "anxious ball of nerves" loved his friends, he really did, but they were so selfless sometimes. Yes, he did appreciate that so don't judge so quickly, but this situation was a rare one where that wonderful trait that they all possessed recoiled and smacked the shit out of him.

Y'see, there's something hilariously ironic to the entire situation that was currently playing out. Yuuri was part of a group, not just any, but a world renown famous pop band filled with his trusty companions: Phichit Chulanont, Seung-Gil, Leo De Iglesias, and Guang-Hong Ji. They were the beloved band dubbed the **3AM SoNs** and Yuuri was the lead singer; _Eros_. Although his stage persona was a literal sex god that left girls and men gushing all kinds of bodily fluids at the sight, his actual personality was quite the contrary. Yuuri Katsuki was a sweet man, a beautiful angel living beyond the living, but god was he a nervous wreck. The poor boy had constant panic attacks, self esteem issues, and the confidence of a jittery chihuahua next to a German Shepard.

Meaning he was something else _entirely_.

Now his friends, they were something else too. Phichit was the bass player who liked to suggest they take up rapping because Niki Minaj could do the shit so why couldn't they? To describe him would be like trying to explain what a meme was to an old man who didn't understand the internet. It was just impossible. Their Thai friend was an enigma with an unhealthy social media obsession and a selfie game that could give Kim Kardashian a run for her money. (It wasn't that hard tbh). He was also a literal ball of sunshine who appreciated hamsters almost as much as he appreciated Yuuri's thighs. Now we have Guang-Hong. He was a small one, a cute little shit that could kick your ass without trying. Unlike Phichit though, Guang-Hong did backup singing and the occasional keyboard magic. Next we have Seung-Gil, or what Phichit would say, _"The emo of the squad"_ (he didn't appreciate that title). Now Seung-Gil was probably the most normal out the group despite his reserved nature. He was a wicked guitar player, a calculating gentleman, and a adamant dog lover. Lastly, we have Leo. The only one who wasn't of Asian descent in the group, but a proud Mexican-American that often cringed when his friends attempted to speak Spanish. Leo was a lovely man, had eyebrow goals as fuck, and was solely dedicated to music. He wrote lyrics, played the drums, and screamed absurd things at the band when they decided to provide him with a piñata instead of a punching bag like he requested that one time.

(Providing the stick too was not a good idea either. It was a regret that they all still felt when they sat down.)

But despite all the clashing personalities, the five of them worked like a well oiled machine. They met at a young age, realized they all had some musical talent, stuffed themselves silly with pizzas and formed a band. It wasn't long for that talent to be recognized and a record deal presented to the kids. Soon enough, they were on their way to the top.

Now, back to the problem at hand. Yuuri loved his friends, he truly did, they were all he had, but those _fuckers_ pinned him down.

Earlier in the night, Celestino had strode into the room with a large grin and a suspicious envelope within his clutch. Alarm bells rung at the sight, but Yuuri had held his ground while Phichit shot off the couch with a speed that could rival that blue hedgehog motherfucker and zipped towards their manager. Everyone else seemed to follow Yuuri's league and awaited for the Italian man to address them accordingly. He did so, sitting across the group who lounged on their giant red couch and placed the envelope on the glass coffee table.

"What's that?" Leo had asked.

Celestino preened at the question and opened up the package, pulling out the stapled document and placing it on the table. "This is a contract!"

"A contract?" The word had seemed to capture Seung-Gil's attention, seeing as he sat up a little straighter and narrowed his eyes. "For what?"

"Well..." Celestino paused and looked back at the paper. "It's for a TV show."

 _"A TV show?"_ Good lord, Phichit was obviously excited if the slight crack at the end of his sentence indicated anything. "Are we gonna be on TV? Guest stars to a show?Are we getting our own reality show?!"

They were all wild guesses, but that last option made Yuuri grimace. He never was a fan for cameras and the thought of those pesky devices following his every move, especially the fact that it would infiltrate his more private life, was a migraine in the making. Luckily, Celestino had begun to shake his head and Yuuri couldn't help the relief that swelled within him. Looks like God was real and everything in the world was-

"It's kinda like a reality show. It is one, but instead of just the band, it would be other high ranked celebrities you room with inside a big mansion for an entire summer."

- _Shit_. The world was shit and the deity above was cackling like the Joker at Yuuri's mortified face.

Phichit and Guang-Hong sat up with excitement though. Leo even struggled to hide his giddyness and Seung-Gil looked almost amused. Celestino, taking this for a good sign, continued on. "I thought it was a good idea to sign us up. I still need all of your consent, but the exposure we could gain from the show will bring new fans and a lot of recognition. Especially in the western region."

"What's the catch?"

Celestino quirked a brow at the Korean. "None at all. It only states that 15 celebrities are needed to fill in the slots for the show. Since you're a group of 5, that leaves 10 other available positions to be filled. Some have already been taken on, but last I checked their were only two singers left to take the rolls."

"Hmmm. So if we were to do this, what would we do?" Guang-Hong inquired.

"Well the entirety of the show is based off the private lives of A-list celebrities. Fans eat up that kind of thing and there's bound to be some curiosity at how all of you will interact with the others. So for my guess, just act as normal as possible. Do what you do normally, but mind the fact you're being watched by a couple cameras."

"Oh god." Leo bemoaned, slumping back. "We're like Jersey Shore, but-"

"Uh-uh, don't even try to compare us to that trash." Phichit hissed, clamping a mouth over Leo's mouth. It looked like Leo attempted to lick his hand to get the thing away, but something that sounded like Phichit whispering, 'I forgot to wash my hands when I went to the bathroom' had Leo's muffled scream echoing. Seung-Gil glared at the two and jabbed his thumb at them, addressing Celestino.

"You call _that_ normal?"

Guang-Hong was attempting to kick Phichit's arm away when the manager responded, "Somewhat."

Yuuri was gonna pass out.

Firstly, fame was something still unnatural to him. It was to all of them, in fact. Their sudden 'big break' came from nowhere and they were all still humble enough to believe they were just lucky. Yuuri especially, but can you blame him? You're a shy boy who attempted a simple talent show in America once, then suddenly you're performing before thousands of people in a sold out stadium. It was unearthly.

_'Run, Forrest! Runnnn!'_

"Yuuri!"

Yuuri snapped up to realize the attention had focused solely on him. Aw shit, he really shouldn't have begun to think too deeply on things again. Could that be a hobby? Deep thinking? Well the world was weird and so were people so it wouldn't be surprising to look that up and see it was a thing.

"Hm?"

"We asked if you're going to join?"

Oh fuck, they already made up their minds and decided to do this crazy shit. Well damn, Yuuri really shouldn't be inner monologuing so much and pay attention next time.

"We don't have to sign the contract if you don't wanna. We either all go or none of us at all."

There it was. That stupid selfless attitude they all presented once they nodded to Phichit's words. His friends easily could've gone by themselves on the show, but they were like the ninja turtles in all honesty, except there was five instead of four and they weren't ninjitsu skilled reptile mutants. They just had a brotherly bond that was comparable to them. They did things together or not at all.

Which is why Yuuri was in _quite_ the pickle.

Did he love his friends? Yes, yes he did, he already established that. Did he like the fact his private life was going to be broadcasted for the world to see? No, because that shit is private for a reason. His fans didn't need to see he was a literal potato that did nothing all day but eat and do stupid stuff to mess with his friends, like prank wars and slapboxing.

_But..._

Well, 4 out of 5 was the vote and he would put on a brave facade to appease his friends and manager. They had done so much for him already and if the world needed to see Yuuri Katsuki for who he truly was then so be it.

Oh god he was gonna regret this later, but fuck it, that determination was kicking in like that girl (or is it a boy?) from Undertale who continually yeeted those monsters like nothing.

Yuuri gave a small smile and nodded, grabbing a pen and signing the designated spot below the other four signatures. Phichit tackle hugged him after and everyone joined in as Yuuri couldn't help, but squash Seung-Gil due to the weight of the other three grown men gripping him happily.

"Get off me!"

"I will! But with the news that we're going to be on TV, I suggest-" Phichit sat up from his spot on Yuuri's right arm and grinned mischievously. "We _celebrate_."

"Celebrate, hm?" Guang-Hong poked his head above the tangled limbs he was buried within. "How so?"

"Tequila, obviously." Leo supplied.

"Well, I want coffee." Seung-Gil griped back. His tone certainly wasn't impressed at the shift of events, but he was squashed against a leather cushion, so...

"Hot bean water? You disgust me."

"Shut your quiznack, Guang, you drink hot leaf water."

"It's called tea, you ignorant slut!" Guang-Hong sat up and tossed Leo off the couch with a flourish, glaring at the man that had insulted his favorite drink. Even Yuuri was glaring at Seung-Gil for the insult, both parties ignoring the groaning American on the ground.

"We'll have all kinds of liquids, ok?" Celestino joined in. Unlike most old folk, he enjoyed partying. He liked booze because booze made you forget your regrets and crazy adopted band members you deal with because you love them and don't care about the fact your hair is graying rather quickly.

"No offense, Ciao Ciao, but that sounded weird." Yuuri informed. Bless his heart, the old coop sounded creepy, but weird was enough to hint that fact hopefully. Celestino seemed to get the gist and nodded, standing up and dusting off his clean pants because that's what people seem to do when they stand, just dust non existent dirt off their legs.

"I'll be back in twenty with some alcohol and snacks."

"Yass! You're a beautiful man, Ciao Ciao. Never forget that!" Phichit called happily to him. Unlike before, he sat upside down on the couch and had his head hanging off the edge with his arms aimed in an upside down finger gun towards the manager. "Stay gorgeous."

"If only I could say the same for you, Phichit." Celestino called from the exit. There was a gasp that followed and then everyone laughing at the baffled man falling gracefully to the ground in a crumpled heap.

"Ah, Celestino is a gift from the gods." Leo hummed from his spot on the floor. Why was he even on the ground again?

Yuuri sighed happily, "You're right about that."

"I'll toast to that when I get my beer." Guang-Hong said. He stood up from the couch and grabbed the contract from the table and skimmed the thing.

"What's it say?" Leo called.

"The house is in Miami, Florida." He replied, smiling. "It says it's on a private beach too. We'll be staying in a mansion and rooming with the other people for the whole summer. It's just like Celestino said it would be, just an exposure of our private lives for the world to see."

"That doesn't sound too bad." Yuuri spoke, squinting at the contract. It was a lie, but not a full one. "Does it say who we'll be rooming with?"

At that, Guang-Hong frowned.

"No...but the cast is supposed to be revealed later on in the evening at the golden globes. Maybe the producers are waiting to surprise everyone?"

"Maybe. I just hope Beyoncé's there." Phichit said. He wiggled his eyebrows and turned to Yuuri with a shit-eating grin that made the man queazy at the sight.

_Hoe don't do it._

"We all know who Yuuri wants to be there~"

_Oh my god._

"Viktor Nikiforov I presume." Seung-Gil retorted, not even looking up at the betrayed boy from his phone.

"Bitch..."

"Well I want to meet him too." Guang-Hong replied. Fuck yes, he was on Yuuri's side and that was a blessing in itself. "I mean he's in a lot of my favorite movies. He's not a five time Oscar winner for nothing."

Phichit patted his chest and gave a peace sign to the ceiling. "Unlike my home boy Leo."

"What about me?"

"What-no, not _you_ , I'm talking about Leo DiCaprio."

"Oh."

"Well anyways..." Guang-Hong piped up. "The show is called _'Falling For Fame'._ Pretty catchy, right?"

"It sounds stupid if you ask me." The Korean grumbled.

"Everything sounds stupid to you, my emo child."

"I hate you."

Phichit gave a carefree laugh. "That's crazy talk, _Seungy_!"

Seung-Gil cringed at the horrific nickname he knew Phichit only used to irritate him. "No, saying we're all secretly aliens or that there's an anime based off our lives as professional figure skaters is crazy talk. What I'm saying isn't that, it's just honesty."

"C'mon, don't lie to yourself, Seung-Gil, y'know you love me!" As if to add affect to his innocent persona, Phichit batted his eyelashes and gave a dazzling smile.

"I would sale your soul to Satan for a corn chip."

Phichit gaped at him and whined, "What is this? Pick on Phichit day?"

Everyone in the room chorused a yes.

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

"Fuckin hell!"

"Language Yurachka!"

"Fuckin heck!"

To be fair, Yakov wants to scream ridiculous profanities too, but he can't because he's old and supposedly mature, but that doesn't stop him from hissing at the onslaught of paparazzi attempting to fight their way to ask a couple of useless questions. It also doesn't help that his long time client and reasoning as to why he's starting to bald decides to be an extra motherfucker and dazzle the crowd.

Viktor fuckin Nikiforov everyone.

If you've seen the movie Finding Nemo, then you know all too well about the seagulls that repeatedly cry " _Mine_!" over and over again until you wanted to hit yourself with a frying pan. The paparazzi were the seagulls and the fish that was sought after was Viktor. He was gorgeous, rich, popular, beloved by all, but the boy was an idiot and Yakov was a patient man for dealing with him for as long as he had.

"Mr. Nikiforov! Mr. Nikiforov! Is it true you'll be the leading role in the upcoming Magic Mike trilogy?"

"Viktor! Are the rumors true about a sequel to Stammi Vicino?!"

"Viktor! Viktor! What is your relationship to Mila Babevich?!"

Flashing cameras momentarily blinded him, but Viktor lived for this. He was dressed nice and clean too. Adorning a ridiculously expensive grey suit that fit him in all the right places and shimmered with each flash giving them the old razzle dazzle.

"The rumors are true. A sequel is in the works for Stammi Vicino and I will play a role in the next Magic Mike, but regarding my colleague, Mila, she and I are just friends." Viktor gave that glorious smirk to a camera on the left and a wink to the right.

"Mr. Nikiforov! Are you excited about the new series you'll be participating in this summer?!"

Viktor was about to reply to the comment when Yuri yanked the back of his shirt collar downwards and rushed to the limo, practically tossing him in the vehicle before glaring at the cameras and slamming the door shut.

 _Silence_.

"What the fuck, Viktor?" Ah, there it was. "You complain about wanting to leave the entire time then the moment those cameras come out, your dumbass stays and entertains them!"

"Settle down Yuri." The voice of reason speaks. Yakov's already got a vein pulsing on his forehead and if Viktor squinted, he's pretty sure he just saw his left eye twitch. "Viktor did the right thing. You have to amuse them a bit before leaving any event so it was bound to happen anyways."

Viktor gives a gracious smile his way and settles down in the leather seat. He wants to talk to Yuri, branch out a brotherly bond with the young man, but the kid was the living embodiment of teenage angst wrapped in an angelic scowl. To describe Yuri Plisetsky was a difficult task. The closest thing that could be viable was an angry kitten. A very angry adorable kitten.

Speaking of kitten, the blonde one across from him gave an ugly sneer his direction.

How rude.

"Y'know if you keep doing that than your face is gonna get stuck like that." Viktor chided.

Yuri frowned deeply and Yakov rubbed his temples in distress. #PrayforYakov would be trending on twitter again if Mila was here to take pictures.

"Don't frown! You're gonna get wrinkles."

"You must speak from experience."

Now that quip took the cake because Viktor Nikiforov was a god among men, but had an Achilles Heel when it came to jabs at his forehead, age, and hair. That's probably why Yuri looked so smug when Viktor gave a whimper and carded a hand through his hair.

"Yuri! So mean to me!"

Was he a babysitter? Yakov had to convince himself that he wasn't for the something twenty-year olds in the limo, but with the way they acted, it was an increasingly hard task to manage. Age didn't mean maturity, he had to remind himself this. Maybe other Hollywood managers had to struggle with overgrown children, but he thought that was rather unlikely. Viktor, Mila, and Yuri were all strange cases. Maybe the price of representing Hollywood's most sought out male actor was his sanity and Yakov really didn't wanna lose that.

Was it worth it?

Looking back at Viktor, the man who was recently declared this year's _"Sexiest Man Alive"_ who was also currently shoving as many complimentary Cheetos bags in his pockets and shoving a fistful of orangey goodness in his mouth, Yakov had to really struggle with saying yes at that moment.

"Mr. Feltsman?" The old limo driver with a British accent had rolled down the window from the inside and nodded his head to the phone opposite from him. "Janet is on line 2 for you. I believe she wants to discuss the upcoming reality show for Mila and the boys."

"Ah, thank you."

The man rolled the window back up before Viktor could say something stupid like "Take us to the Batcave, Alfred!" or ask to play the Shrek soundtrack _again_. Yakov was silently grateful that he was about to choke on a couple Cheetos instead of inquiring what he was discussing on the phone. Why couldn't he be like Yuri? Sure, the boy had anger that could rival the Hulk's, but he was mature and only talked when he needed to. There was also the fact he yelled a lot and cursed like a sailor, but-ok, _no_. One Yuri Plisetsky was probably enough.

"I've arranged an interview for you both on Wednesday afternoon with Janet Jett's." Yakov said as he hung up the phone.

"Aw! That's the lady that wears too much makeup and tries to kiss me every time I see her!"

Sadly for Viktor, Yakov had no sympathy. "Too bad. She's a wonderful lady and a really popular host. It'll do you and Yura good to get familiarized with some of the other celebrities you'll be rooming with for two months."

"Do you have any idea who it might be?" Yuri asked.

"Not sure. I overheard a producer talk about some DJ and a few musicians. Georgi Popovich was mentioned as well."

Viktor snorted. "Isn't he the guy that wrote an entire book series on his ex-girlfriend?"

"Yes, but he's also the guy that made millions because of that." Yakov returned.

"Romantic bullshit always gets noticed." Yuri waved off from where he lounged. "People eat that crap off a silver platter. How do you think Disney got so far?"

"Because they revolutionized an entire era of animation and created original musicals based off of old fiction?"

Yuri scoffs as if he was insulted by the excuse Viktor provided and shakes his head. "No, it's because idiots like you watch it and think you can solve all your problems with true love's kiss and all that trash. It's disgusting."

"You're just being morbid about Disney because you've never fallen in love. Didn't you like _The Aristocats_ and _the Lion King_?" Viktor pouts and he's using that god awful face that's makes Yuri want to lunge across the limo and give him a good bitch slap or two.

"They're good movies, so shut up and you're not one to talk Viktor. You've _never_ fallen in love with anything besides that damn dog you have."

"Makkachin is family just like your cat is to you." Viktor sits up in his seat, quick to defend his dog and put a hoe in it's place if need be. "And I have fallen in love before. Not with another person in that kinda way, but I do love stuff."

Yakov and Yuri both simultaneously roll their eyes and Viktor crosses his arms and sticks his tongue out at the both of them.

"God, what are you? 12?"

"Yeah on a scale of 1 to 10, bye."

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

 

**Avex TV Announces New Reality Show: _"Falling For Fame"_**

Avex TV has announced a new project this Saturday at the recent Golden Globe Awards. _"Falling For Fame"_ or _"FFF"_ has been declared an instant _"success"_ according to Variety. An official website for the upcoming show was released this afternoon.

The private lives of celebrities is a central theme of the series. The project, which has been awaiting the green light for two years, is created by producer Mitsurou Kubo and assistant Sayo Yamamoto. According to Kubo, the show will be a variety of characters, examples being musically talented superstars: k-pop sensation _"3AM SoNs"_ and Five time Oscar winner: _Viktor Nikiforov._

 _"I wanted fans to see that they're humans too."_ Kubo explained at an interview for E! _"My goal to accomplish with this show is for fans to experience their favorite celebrity in a completely different perspective. There's no scripts, no acting, just normal them-interacting with fellow celebrities and escaping the pressure of daily life."_

According to the official website, the show is to take place on a private beach at Miami Florida. Already, fans are teeming with excitement at what's to be the most anticipated show this summer.

 **Cast:**  
Yuuri Katsuki  
Viktor Nikiforov  
Yuri Plisetsky  
Phichit Chulanont  
Leo De Iglesias  
Mila Babicheva  
Georgi Popovich  
Sara Crispino  
Michele Crispino  
Minami Kenjouro  
Seung Gil Lee  
Guang Hong Ji  
Jean Jaques Leroy  
Otabek Altin  
Christophe Giacometti

Official site: http://www.Fallingforfame.com/

Source: _Mantan Web_

**[Page 2 of 65]**

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* * *

[picture of Phichit and everyone posing with a table full of different alcoholic drinks on the coffee table behind them]

 **4,145 likes** · 1h

 **phichit+chu** About to celebrate with my friends @y-katsuki @LeoDG @HongGJi @seung_Lee on our upcoming show #FallingForFame ! Bottoms up y'all!

view all 209 comments

 **KatsuDAMN13** YESSSSS PAPI YUURI BOUT TO DEBUET!!!!

 **missleroy** JJ is gonna be there!!! Agh! I can't wait to see this show!

 **marciebarcie** OMG HAVE YOU SEEN THIS YET @stacybaecy @priscillabrazilla @lillee

 **JJleroy!15** prepare for the King!

 **loaver** this is like the most talented group of people i've ever seen together on one show :0

 **alice_in_the_sky** @phichit+chu LOL you little shit i love you :'D

 **3AMSoNslut_** THEY HYPE IS R E A L

 **minami_ken** DIBS ON BEING YUURI-KUN'S ROOMATE!!!!

 **sinnamonbunz** @nico-is-waifu @Mashpotater Dudeeeee you need to see what @phichit+chu just posted!!!!

 **phichit+chu** @minami_ken fight me

 **angelzzbitch** MY LORD AND SAVIOR YURI PLISETSKY! FUCK

 **victordickiforov** my body is ready

 **_otabae_** (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **yaoiqueen** prepare for the shipping war to commence

 **crispynugget_** really tho? Only two girls???

 **gayson-24** @crispynugget_ bet money they're all gay af tho

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Seung-Gil snorts at the picture of a shirtless Yuuri on snapchat captioned with the words: _'Bet ya wanna lick my nips.'_ When he looks up at Yuuri, he's wiggling his eyebrows funkily at him and smacking away a whining Phichit that keeps repeating he's too much of a little bitch to play the game.

"Mom might have raised a depressed, emotionally unstable nervous wreck but she ain't raise no BITCH!"

It's hour 3 in their drunken escapade and Drunk Yuuri has officially blessed everyone with his presence. Unlike most people, Yuuri gains a certain bravado under the influence. He becomes blunt, honest, confident and extremely touchy. It's a rare occurrence to see him this way too. Yuuri knows he does dumb shit when he's drunk, but tonight he let's that liquid courage embrace him because he wants to forget the fact he signed his summer away. Plus, his friends are all drinking and playing Truth or Dare like a couple of teenage girls and he wants to have some fun.

Seung-Gil is the most sober of the group. Despite Celestino's earlier protests on promising he would remain a responsible adult, the man was duct taped to the wall an hour ago after chugging a bottle of good scotch and babbling things in quick Italian. Phichit even got him to say a few quotes from Mario in a funny accent and taped a plunger beside their fallen comrade because he got so into his role, he made them all promise to save Princess Peach for him and tell her he was sorry for not making it himself.

Now they all sat in a circle like they were about to roast marshmallows and sing a campfire song when in reality, they're doing the most ridiculous dares conceived. Seung-Gil is sober though, so he's not about to humiliate himself online where they're currently live on Phichit's Instagram. No, rather than make a fool of himself in front of the dedicated millions of followers, he decides to play camera man and answer a few questions in the live comments while watching Yuuri take off his shirt clumsily and tosses his glasses to the side.

"Truth or dare, Yuuri?" Phichit slurred the words a bit, but even with that dribble of drool in the corner of his mouth, he's still an adorable fuck.

"Dare!" Yuuri hiccuped.

"I.. I.. dare youuuuuuuuuuu to uhh.." Phichit looked around the room, "I can't think offf a dare. Just.. g-go sit on Guang-Hong's lap."

Everyone groaned.

"Phichit, give a challenge." Seung-Gil complained.

"Mmmmm I'm comfy." Yuuri snuggled on to the floor.

"Not acceptable." a swaying Leo stood up, picked up a squealing and giggling Yuuri, and dropped him on Guang-Hong's lap.

Guang-Hong jumped and grabbed his beer with two hands. "Leo...you twat! I almost dropped the bear!"

"Did he just s-say be-bear?" Phichit giggled.

Yuuri adjusted himself on Guang-Hong's lap, he set his two legs on either side of his right leg and leaned on to his chest, face first.

Yuuri giggled madly. "You aree small."

"Water you doingg?"

" _Yurrriiiiiiiiiiii_ ," Leo waved his hands above his head, "Pick me!"

"Leor, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I daree you to," Yuuri hiccuped, "Go streakk on the patio."

Leo stood up and ripped off his shirt.

The comments began to flood Seung-Gil instantly and it only amplified when Phichit stood up quickly and ripped his shirt off as well.

"Dance with m-me Leo! Dance the dance of life!"

"Nghh this ain't no strip c-club." Guang-Hong covered his face with his hands.

"You know youu want this." Leo started pelvic thrusting the air and Yuuri fell into a giggling fit. Phichit grabbed Leo's hands and they both started a tango.

"I don't want thats cause it's grosss! You're nastehh..." Guang-Hong whined and nodded to Yuuri with a huff. "I wanna see Yuuriiiii strip! He's _sooooooooo_ purty when he does..."

Seung-Gil grew a little smirk when an outburst of _"Yuuri-Kun can strip?!"_ poured into the already busy comment section.

"Do et, Yuuri!" Leo swayed over and clung to the lithe man with one hand while holding a half empty bottle of champagne in the other. "Do et for Mario!" He pointed his hand to Celestino where he snored rather loudly and had his head leaning back just enough to see the awful scribbled permanent marker mustache on his upper lip.

"I'll do it!"

Seung-Gil doesn't know what happens in the next five minutes because it all happens so quickly. At first, it was simple egging on. Now there's a full out strip show he's witnessing.

Yuuri claims he took up pole dancing class because it helped strengthen the core and gave a thorough workout. It wasn't technically a lie, but truth be told, Yuuri accidentally signed up for the class by mistake and never left. When the group found out about his secret dance class, Phichit took it upon himself to install a stripper pole in the home gym they created.

Those stripping classes had paid off _significantly_.

Now Yuuri Katsuki was grinding against a stripper pole in nothing, but a pair of baby blue booty shorts with Britney Spear's "Toxic" blasting in the background with the room' slightly dimmed down to heighten the erotic scene. Seung-Gil fanned his face with one hand and gripped the phone with the other as the other three boys screamed their approval.

"Make et rain, sweetie!"

Yuuri swirled around the pole and arched his back off the side, laughing beautifully when everyone began to toss monopoly cash at him.

Leo tripped over a rolled up yoga mat and caused the wad of money in his hands to fly everywhere like some cheap fuckin confetti as he screamed, "Papi Chulo!" then promptly knocked himself out.

This is when shit really hit the fan.

Yuuri somehow did some crazy twists and held the pole upside down, gripping the thing tightly while letting his unruly dark hair fall back and spreading his legs as he looked dead at the camera. Throwing a wink at the already hyped up fandom, he blew a kiss and boldy declared, "I dedicate this show to Viktor Nikiforov!"

Seung-Gil ended the stream right after that and screamed.

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

**Katsuki Yuuri Stripping Fiaso Goes Viral**

Deborah Rodriguez 

BuzzFeed Staff

[ _gif of Yuuri spinning around on the stripper pole_ ]

For every **3AM SoNs** fan out there, no dedicated member would ever miss a live stream from the band's bass player, _Phichit Chulanont_ ; an advocate member in all forms of social media. Last night was no exception for me as I got to personally see the hilarious antics of the group and the surprising turn of events at the end.

To sum up last night, think of it as a bachelor party gone rogue. The band members started the night with a congratulatory toast for their upcoming roles in the new reality show, "Falling For Fame." As the night progressed, more alcohol was consumed and more ambiguous things began. The five members began to play Truth or Dare which later revealed the hidden talent of the lead lyricist: _Yuuri Katsuki._

Who would have thought the shy cinnamon roll had it in him?

[ _image of Yuuri holding himself upside down on the pole with a large grin_ ]

Yuuri Katsuki is a gordian knot when it comes to personalities. His beloved stage persona: _Eros_ is a confident figure that empowers passion in multiple ways when performing. That's why the spectacle from last night caused quite the commotion. To put it simply, Yuuri Katsuki is not like his stage persona. He's actually quite shy in the public's eye and an incredible sweet heart.

[ _picture of a disheveled Yuuri in civilian clothes smiling as he volunteers at an animal shelter while holding a small puppy_ ]

But despite the show we all received, we can all agree to the incredulous moment where Yuuri had declared the entirety of the performance to be dedicated at the world renown actor: _Viktor Nikiforov._ Promptly after the announcement, the stream had ended and fans were left to speculate what had just happened. There's been no word that Nikiforov has seen the video yet, but if I've learned anything from all my years online, it's that word travels fast on the internet.

I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly hope for a reaction video. Hopefully this a glimpse into the upcoming show's content. If anything, we'll get to see interaction between the world's most popular celebrities and the highly anticipated meet up between Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov.

Grab your popcorn kiddos. This is going be some quality entertainment.

 

* * *

 

tuplante @tuplante · 15m

Yoooooo! I saw this stream last night! it was crazy! I watched it with my friends and we were dying! XD I swore I woke my mom up when I screamed at the part Yuuri said he was dedicating the performance to Viktor!

 

eros-daddy @eros-daddy · 12m  
  
All is right with the world. #StripperYuuri is trending and my finals are done. #blessed

 

mrsnikiforov @mrsnikiforov · 11m

Wtf is this trash

 

niktorvikiforov @niktorvikiforov · 9m

Tbh I'm just waiting for Viktor to see this vid. I'm not a 3AM SoNs fan, but that shit might make me it

 

crispy3AMs @crispy3AMs · 7m

@niktorvikiforov join us in our eternal suffering with our sons(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

katsucutie @katsucutie · 6m

@mrsnikiforov it's called art, sweetie. You're probably gonna see more of it in #FallingForFame

 

trashyyrui @trashyyrui · 5m

#FallingForFame about to get lit!!! I can't wait to see JJ and the Crispino twins! ALSO OUR DARLING YURACHKA IS GONNA BE ON IT!!! where's my #Yurisangels at????

 

christaphG @christaphG · 4m

I'm willing to bet my first born child that Christophe is gonna drag Yuuri into a stripping contest on #FallingForFame at least once

 

bitchitchulo @bitchitchulo · 2m

I'm officially seduced (*☻-☻*)  
#StripperYuuri #FallingForFame #Shook

 

kenjurokiddo @kenjurokiddo · 1m

All y'all talkin about is Viktor seein Yuuri strip but ain't no one gonna bring up the fact Leo knocked himself out while yellin "Papi Chulo????" Smh get y'all's priorities straight

 

* * *

_Hello peeps! If you enjoy my trashy stories, then feel free to find me on my tumblr at the link below!_

**[MY TUMBLR](https://victuuriscreechhh.tumblr.com) **


	2. Does Bruno Mars is Gay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trashy memes and regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AINT DEAD LMAO. I'm just dying on the inside. Jkjk I've been watching too much Hell's Kitchen. That shit is hilarious.
> 
> Edited by nairo_wynd

_"My future boyfriend is probably texting his bf right now about how they're gonna be together forever.  SIKE, see you in ten years bitch."_

_-12 year old Viktor probably_

* * *

 

 Masumi liked to think he's a patient man. 

For one, he's a photographer. Do you know what photographers do? They stare at something decidedly beautiful then wait for the right moment to strike. Boom, a decent picture and it only took what? _Five hours?_ Yeah, totally worth it for some motherfuckin flowers.

Anyways, Masumi thinks of himself to be patient. It's probably his best trait and his patience did earn him a playboy model as his boyfriend. Y'see, Masumi loved his boo, Christophe Giacometti very much. The Swiss man was as sweet as his country's chocolate, a clever clash of beauty and brains, and to top it off, they both liked to read! What more could you want?

Okay, he's getting off topic. Chris wasn't perfect, he couldn't listen for  _shit_ and that was the current predicament that would result in his impending doom. Masumi brushed back his thick brown locks as he glared at his phone screen. The digits clenched around the device in an irritated manner and a prolonged hiss escaped his lips before he's storming up to his boyfriend's apartment doors about to perform a _"Somebody Once Told Me-"_ and knock down the damn thing with a kick.

"STOP SENDING ME NUDES WHILE I'M AT WORK!"

Christophe jumped at the door slamming against his wall. Clearly, he wasn't anticipating his boyfriend crashing his lovely reading of the day. It was too early for that, but then again it might've been a little early to send a dick pic, but who's gonna complain about a dick pic from him? He's fuckin Christophe Giacometti and he's pretty sure that he can count about twenty people off the top of his head who would _love_ a wakeup call like that.

Masumi was _not_ one of them though.

"Hello to you too, darling."

"Don't you _darling_ me." Masumi growled and dammit, if he wasn't the one being lectured right now then Chris would have admitted that his tone was pretty hot. "I've told you, countless times, to wait until lunch time for things like these! I love you Chris, I really do, but I can't be caught looking at your unmentionables while taking pictures of kids. That's how you get arrested babe, and I know for a _fact_ I don't look good in orange."

Chris is silent for a moment, possibly mulling over his words while he adjusted his circular spectacles. "I mean, you do look good with handcuffs?"

"Chris! I swear to god-" Masumi paused mid rant when he heard what sounded like a whale dying, echoing throughout the apartment.

There was a second or two that passed before the gears in his head began to turn and assure him that there wasn't a gigantic sea mammal nearing death in their apartment. Masumi glanced towards the guest room to see soft blue light leaking out of the bottom cracks of the door and suddenly noticed Chris was watching the room as well, looking slightly concerned with a cute pout.

Damn, there goes his angry rant.

Masumi sighed and flopped down across the black sofa beside Chris with a sigh. "Is Viktor here again?"

Chris glanced at him and nodded. "Yeah. He's been here since I got home. When I went to go check on him, he was watching Beauty and the Beast for the fifth time and crying."

Ah, so that explained the whale noises.

Masumi shifted to the left when Chris's cat hopped into his lap and frowned. It's not that he didn't like Viktor. He loved him, I mean, he's Viktor Fucking Nikiforov. Everyone was a fan of him, but whenever Christophe and Viktor began to hang out after filming for a movie, Masumi discovered 4 things about the supposed heartthrob.

 **1.** Viktor was an overgrown child.  
**2.** Viktor was not great with cats.  
**3.** Viktor was hella gay.  
**4.** The man was extremely lonely.

That last one still confused Masumi if he was honest with himself. Viktor could have anybody he wanted, he had almost everything, but _no_ , it was just him and his poodle. Family? Viktor never spoke of them. Friends? There was Chris and his co-workers. Lovers? If you mentioned that, Viktor would give you a falsified playboy facade when in reality, the man was just a hopeless romantic who hadn't found _the one_. Masumi can't complain though, because he understands the need to find a soulmate. In the world that they lived in, finding one of those was like trying to find a specific fish in the whole ocean. You had to be lucky as _shit_.

"Why's he here?" Masumi asked after a moment, stroking the cat's white fur. Usually when Viktor came over to their apartment, it was due to some issue he had.

"He's been thinking about retiring." Chris carefully placed a bookmark on the page he was on and closed his book, looking up at Masumi. "You know how he's been lacking inspiration. The man can't surprise the audience like he use to."

"But-" Masumi scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "Isn't he doing that reality show with you? The #FallingForFame one? I thought that was supposed to get his mind back in the game."

"That was his goal, but I don't think he was too happy not knowing half the cast though. I honestly don't know what runs through his mind." Chris huffed, before a smile cracked on his face and he sat up.

Lightbulb motherfuckers.

"VIKTOR!"

Both Masumi and the cat jumped in alarm at the sudden outburst. They were comfortable too so it kinda sucked, but the change of events was at least a little entertaining. Like a child, Viktor bitterly slammed the door open and trudged to the living room, flopping down on an opposite sofa with what looked like dried chocolate icecream caked onto the edge of his lip.

Wow. How glorious was this god among men?

"The fuck do you want?"

"Shut up bitch." Chris retorted back and beckoned the 'bitch' to sit beside him. Viktor begrudgingly did so, and watched curiously when Chris pulled out his phone and went to the Instagram app.

"Are you trying to show me a nude you posted?"

Masumi sat up, "You posted another one and didn't tell me?"

"I didn't post a nude, damn it." Chris hissed. "I'm trynna show Viktor some accounts of a few people we'll be with over the summer. It's good to stalk a hoe's social media page and see what they're like."

With agile fingers, Chris quickly pulled up a page of a man and woman posing together. Looking closely, Viktor discovered they were the Crispino twins. Typical that they would have a profile pic with the both of them together. By the look of Chris's face, he didn't seem enthralled at their lack of originality in their separate accounts. Sara was a little more colorful, but Mikey didn't have a single photo of himself. It was always him and his sister or a random musical instrument and promotional posters for their duo of a band.

"Ok...we can try Minami. He's cool and-" Chris paused when he noticed the top bar showing the most watched live streams at the moment and grinned. "Hey! That band 3am SoNs is live right now!"

"What's 3am SoNs?"

Chris's thumb hovered over the button and both Masumi and him glared at Viktor like he just asked if you wear socks with sandals. (Which is a no no in the fashion world so don't do that you fucking barbarian.)

Holy shit, was the cat glaring at Viktor too?

"How in holy hell do you not know who the 3am SoNs are?" Masumi finally asked. His tone was stunned and held a sense of betrayal.

"I just... _don't_?" Viktor gave a weak shrug. Shaking my head, pathetic.

"I can't believe I let you into my home." Chris gave a dramatic cry and pulled Viktor close enough to see the screen. "Let's just watch the stream and ask questions later, ok?"

Viktor had to squint a bit to see what was going on when the stream came to life. At first, he could see three guys. A small pale boy, a dark skinned man with a bottle of alcohol and some flawless eyeliner wings, and a latino looking guy tipping over where he sat.

Okay, so they were drunk. _Wait, is that a guy taped to the wall?_

"Oooooo! This outta be interesting." Chris cooed. Masumi, growing interested, had leaned back to be able to see the action unfold on the screen.

 _"I.. I.. dare youuuuuuuuuuu to uhh.."_ Flawless eyeliner winged man looked around the room, _"I can't think offf a dare. Just.. g-go sit on Guang-Hong's lap."_

Everyone groaned.

 _"Phichit, give a challenge."_ The camera man complained. Ah, so flawless wings is named Phichit.

 _"Mmmmm I'm comfy."_ someone commented. Viktor frowned, not seeing the source.

 _"Not acceptable."_ The Latino man had stood up, and walked off the camera to pick up something that started giggling. To be honest, Viktor had to admit that they were all attractive. Nothing too special for him, but-

Well Korean Jesus fuck me sideways, who in good god's name was _that?_

Chris smirked at the screen, sensing Viktor's jaw drop. He's not going to mention it though, at least not now because Viktor's been blessed with the sight of Yuuri Katsuki. He had that reaction too when he discovered Eros. It actually took a month to concede to his boyfriend's constant chiding on comparing his ass to Yuuri's. I mean, Chris's ass is great, but compared to Yuuri's? Lmao, take a sip babes, that's _A1_ booty!

Viktor is thinking that same thing as he watches the drunk man being dropped into the unsuspecting cute pale boy's lap. His hair is a lovely black and Viktor's not a poet, but all he can compare those brown eyes to are rich chocolates, red wine, and a flickering candle in a dark room. He hasn't even looked at him fully, and Viktor feels like he's been thoroughly fucked in the heart. Wait, that's actually not a good way to put he might be in love, but being struck by cupid's arrow is cliché as fuck so the bang train is on board.

_"Leo...you twat! I almost dropped the bear!"_

_"Did he just s-say be-bear?"_ Phichit giggled.

Beautiful-eyed stranger man adjusted himself on small guy's lap. He set his two legs on either side of his right leg and leaned onto his chest, face first.

Viktor clutched his chest and wheezed. Was he thirsty? Maybe.

_"You aree small."_

_"Water you doingg?"_

_"Yurrriiiiiiiiiiii,"_ Leo waved his hands above his head, _"Pick me!"_

So his name is Yuuri. Hm. Yuuri Nikiforov has a nice ring to it if you asked Viktor.

_"Leor, truth or dare?"_

_"Dare!"_

_"I daree you to,"_ Yuuri hiccuped, _"Go streakk on the patio."_

Leo stood up and ripped off his shirt, Phichit joining him.

Viktor had to take a moment and gather himself. Quickly, he ran towards the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and chugged the thing down. He's thirsty, but not in the dying way. More of the hoe way as he saw a man so beautiful his body stopped working and he's lacking important liquids. Okay, that sounds weird, so he's just thirsty as fuck. Maybe he's hungry too, because Viktor began to make a sandwich. It's nothing spectacular for a movie star, but the basics are always a classic. Ham and cheese with a slab of mayonnaise. Not mustard though because mustard can go to hell trying to slide up on these buns.

"VIKTOR YOU NEED TO SEE THIS!"

Viktor grabbed the sandwhich in between his teeth and darted back into the room, hopping over the couch to see what Chris had screamed about. Seeing it, he wants to scream things too because Yuuri Katsuki is stripping on a pole to Toxic and it is just _sinful_.

"I need to marry this man Chris." Viktor didn't even know the words had left his mouth until Masumi gave a mischievous grin. Viktor was going to take it back, but Yuuri threw a smirk at the camera in such a flirtatious way that he sounded like a deflated balloon when he opened his mouth.

_"Papi Chulo!"_

_"I dedicate this show to Viktor Nikiforov!"_

The screen blanked and so did Viktor's mind. He's not sure if he imagined that, but that glorious man just dedicated that delicious performance to _him_ of all people.

Do you ever have those moments where you doubt everything? Like even your own existence? What was life? What was anything? Does Bruno Mars is gay?

"Viktor, your nose is bleeding." Masumi spoke softly. He reached back to grab a tissue, but when he turned back, Viktor had blacked out on the ground in a very unflattering manner with red still gushing out his left nostril.

"Uh.." Masumi gave a panicked glance to Chris. "Is he going to be okay?"

Chris shrugged, "I don't know, but I gotta tweet this shit."

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

 

[selfie of Chris posing with a wink and Viktor laying on the floor waking up with dried blood smeared on his face]

 **7,324 likes** · 2h

 **christophe-gc** Seems like @v-nikiforov has been thoroughly seduced. #RIP #lol #assman

view all 106 comments

 **yuri-plisetsky** TELL THE OLD MAN TO GET HIS ASS BACK TO THE SET BEFORE I KICK IT THERE MYSELF

 **sASSyb.tch** omg did he have a nose bleed???

 **staceybacey** lmao I'll take what he's having @marciebarcie

 **ladynoir04** DID HE WATCH THAT LIVE STREAM??? BRUH

 **confederate_swag_** gtfo with all this gay shit

 **manof.asses** @confederate_swag_ kys

 **mrsnikiforov** even with dry blood on his face that man still looks like an angel

 **marshfellow** IM YODELING

 **confederate_swag_** @manof.asses lmao triggered

 **yaoibae** I SHIP IT

 **Mickey-crispino** oh god is this what Sara and I are going to deal with

 **daddy_chrisgc** @Mickey-crispino LOL

 **square-mom.** @yaoibae ship who?? Chris has a boyfriend already. Lol

 **phichit.universe** Viktors extra af and I love it

 **cookiesxcream** @christophe-gc @Mikey-crispino @yuri-plisetsky @v-nikiforov NOTICE ME SENPAIS

 **mashpotahoe** @phichit.universe TRUE

 **gayson24** wot

* * *

  **Twitter**

10:35AM

**Trending Now**

#Covfefe  
#StripperYuuri  
#FallingForFame  
#SDLive  
#WhatTheHealth  
#PrisonBreak  
#Voltron  
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#HouseOfCards  
#DonaldDump

* * *

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

 When Yuuri wakes up to that whining bitch called sunshine, he's hating his life.

Well, I mean he hates his life already, but in the sarcastic way. The one where he's not afraid to crack a dark joke or the kind where he laughs if he's tagged in a morbid meme and resists the urge to comment _"Me AF"._ No, right now he hates himself because it feels like a fuckin truck hit him. He's got a pulsing headache, he's confused as hell, he's naked for some unknown reason and....

He's stuck in a tree.

Okay, that explains why the sunshine was assaulting his eyes. Yuuri's room is like a dark safe haven. Batman himself would be proud at how dark and secluded it was. Grumbling, Yuuri maneuvered as best as he could from the rough bark, flopping down as gracefully as a hungover 23 year old man could, and landed promptly on his ass.

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Yuuri screamed and covered himself when he saw Seung-Gil stomp over to him like a pissed off mom. What the hell did he want? What was even going on?

Seung-Gil tossed a pair of grey sweatpants at Yuuri and beckoned him to get up. "Come inside. The others are waiting for you."

"For me?" Yuuri wriggled one leg through. "Why?"

"Well...things last night got a little out of hand. You were very drunk. All of you were." Seung-Gil scratched the back of his head.

Yuuri paused. "H-how drunk was I?"

"You congratulated a potato for getting a role in toy story."

"Okay. I need to figure out what happened then." Yuuri admonished. Now slightly clothed, the two walked towards the porch and made their way inside. In the living room, Phichit whimpered pathetically and held a cracked phone, Guang-Hong drunk some sort of grey liquid and gagged, Leo looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, and Celestino appeared to be rubbing at his upper lip and mumbling curses underneath his breath.

They were all a mess.

"Phichit-kun are you ok?"

Phichit looked up from his broken phone and shook his head, sniffling. "Yuuri...I hurt my _baby_. Look..." He lifted the cracked device and wailed when a piece crumbled off.

Guang-Hong groaned. "I'm sorry again Phichit about your phone. What even happened last night?"

"Well..." Seung-Gil smirked and sat down on the recliner. He's not gonna lie, he's feeling a little smug at the moment. "Phichit cracked his phone because he set it to airplane mode then yelled ' _TRANSFORM_!' and threw it. There's goldfish all over the ground because Leo kept trying to get, and I quote _'soldiers to find nemo.'_ And Guang-Hong tried to tape Leo to the TV because he confused him for someone called Dora the Explorer." Seung-Gil pointed at Yuuri next. "And you climbed up a tree because you thought it was a big ass piece of broccoli. In all honesty, I just forgot what tree you were in."

It took a moment for the information to soak in, but when it did, Yuuri wanted a drink. Geez, was he really that drunk?

"At least nothing too bad came out of last night." Leo offered meekly.

"Yeah...no one got hurt." Guang-Hong said before frowning, "Besides our heads."

"Speak for yourself. Do you not see my son?" Phichit whined. He stuck an accusing finger at the Korean. "How did the live stream go? Anything interesting?"

Yuuri had made his way to the kitchen when that question was asked. A good way to nurse a hangover was plenty of water and taking a good nap, but Yuuri was an anxious man and he didn't mind the fact that this vodka from the fridge was numbing a couple of his senses and drawing him back under. Don't blame him for it though because he doesn't want to hear about the ridiculous acts he committed. Besides, the alcohol just might knock him out. With any luck, Yuuri can sleep away his troubles, but then again he's acting a little brash. It probably might not be so bad though, so he should stop being pessimistic and listen to what Seung-Gil says.

"Uh. To sum up the stream, you guys all got drunk, played truth or dare, then Yuuri stripped and he dedicated the performance to someone..."

Everyone looked back at Yuuri who craftily hid the vodka bottle and raised a brow. He's hazing a bit, things are getting a little blurry again, but he knows those things aren't so bad. It's not like he was fuckin Fabio riding up on the beach with a stallion declaring his love or somethin. No, he was just drunk dancing and happened to dedicate the probably tragic performance to someone like Celestino. If he recalls a couple things correctly, it was for him as Mario.

"Who was it for?" Yuuri asks, and it's basically to calm the doubts creeping at the back of his head. A confirmation can really help with that.

Seung-Gil mumbles the answer.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Phichit speaks because now even he's intrigued enough to look away from his dead child.

_"Viktor Nikiforov."_

"Excuse me?"

"I said _VIKTOR NIKIFOROV!_ " Seung-Gil hisses loudly and everyone freezes. Yuuri especially because what the fuck has he done.

Shit hits the fan because now the group is incredibly enthralled with finding out about how things went down and Yuuri is regretting his existence in a way he's never had before, while sulking beside the counter and taking a swig from the vodka.

Bottoms up.

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Minami is a fanboy of many things. The world is full of fantastic shit to gush over so he's gonna do so with a valiant effort. Supernatural? He's got some posters from them. Miraculous Ladybug? Oh yeah, he cosplayed as Chat Noir for comic con last spring. Bianca Del Rio? Well, she may be a queen, but Minami's still struggling how to make a witty un-insulting comeback and not cry from guilt later on. The kid has a heart of gold, but if you asked that heart what it loves most, it won't hesitate to cry out 3am SoNs.

Otabek and Mianami are a stark contrast to each other. They're polar opposites in a way, but not so much as it seemed. Y'see, Otabek is a fan of the 3am SoNs too. He's not a die heart dedicated fan like Minami, but he likes some of their content and he knows the band personally. They met when they decided to use some of Otabek's remixing for an album and the team seemed to hit it off. Phichit was a little excessive in the selfie taking, Leo was decent, Seung-Gil wasn't too enthusiastic, Guang-Hong was nice, and Yuuri was strangely easy to get along with. Otabek didn't know what he expected when he first met the man called Eros, but it sure wasn't a dog loving introvert who preferred watching Netflix and doing charity rather then go out and party.

He doesn't have many of them, but Otabek likes to think that they're friends. He doesn't let loose often, he's always tense and apprehensive about everyone since his big break came in through the DJ-ing scene, but Otabek knows a good person when he sees one and he knows for a fact that the group wasn't affected by the fame one bit. That's why he's a little relieved when he found out that they're going to be doing the reality show thing with him. He at least knew Minami would since they collaborated for a tour, but the two didn't click. They're definitely not strangers anymore, but best buds is a far cry from what they are at the moment.

Currently, the two are discussing the show. Minami and him are driving back to California so they can get ready and pack for their upcoming summer in Florida, and the conversation is calm. It's not much, but it's rather on their roommates more about the show. Everyone knows why everyone agreed to do it anyways. It was a good thing for publicity and a free pass to not work hard over the summer.

Minami's laying across the red booth at the table in the back. He's propped up on a big pillow shaped like a chicken and lazily eating a bag of takis while wearing a huge 3am SoNs hoodie. "Do you think everyone will have separate rooms?"

Otabek shrugs because he's not one for talking. He's an observer at heart, keen eyed and eared to spot things that usually went unnoticed. He reached across the table where he's lazily propped up against and grabbed a twinkie.

"I think we might room with other people." Minami said as he chewed on a chip. "I know it's a mansion, but the show is probably gonna be more interested in our interactions more than anything."

The kid has a point there. Otabek doesn't know why he keeps referring to Minami as a kid when there's only a one year age gap, but he can't help it. "That's true."

"I hope I get to room with Yuuri-kun, but I doubt Phichit will let me. Maybe I'll get to room with someone else. Maybe like you or Viktor Nikiforov." Minami laughs and there are stars in his eyes as he looked over at Otabek. "Who do you want to room with?"

Now that, Otabek has to think about. It's not a hard decision to make, but it's not easy either. "Probably you or one of the band members."

"Ooo like JJ?"

Otabek chokes on his Twinkie and has to punch himself in the chest after that one. " _God no_. JJ's existence is like the sun to me. He needs to stay millions of miles away."

"But you said a band member!" Minami squeaked. He's a little freaked out at seeing Otabek almost die, but the man pulled through it like a champ. "I thought you meant any-"

" _No_. I meant as in the 3am SoNs band. Not that JJ style trash or the Crispino duo. I don't care for wannabe rockstars or an over zealous sibling."

Minami's pretty sure that if this was a meme, airhorns would be blaring out at Otabek's words and sunglasses would flip onto his face as thug music played. Y'know the one where it goes, _"Damn it feels good to be a gangsta."_ But his life isn't a meme and Minami's not sure if he should laugh or take offense to the insult. They're all great artists that he's a fan of, but Otabek was entitled to his opinion and if that's how he felt, who was he to judge?

The two spend the rest of the afternoon talking about the show. Of course the inevitable happens and the live stream is brought up. It's 6pm right now and Otabek feels like an old man with how tired he is. Minami is the picture of youth though, squealing about the thing and showing clips to him on YouTube. How the hell does this thing already have _almost_ a million views?

"Do you think Viktor saw the video yet?" Minami asked. Otabek looked up from the screen they're watching and shrugged.

"Don't know yet. No official thing has been said about it yet."

"I think he did. Did you see the picture Christophe Giacommeti posted?"

 _No_ ; because Otabek isn't a social media fanatic like his generation is. Otabek shrugs though because he really doesn't care to see it, but he's a little interested so he'll probably look the shit up later.

Minami beamed. "I heard Nikiforov has an interview with Janet Jetts on Wednesday. Do you think she'll ask about it?"

"Yes." Otabek agreed almost instantly because the woman would be a fool not to. The stream went viral and the gossip is so juicy that he knows the thirsty fuckin paparazzi are going to bandwagon this and soak it up for all it's worth.

 _#RipYuuriKatsuki_ should be the new trend in Otabek's opinion.

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

   
**YouTube**

11:48PM: sukeota3sisters has uploaded to 3am SoNs playlist: **Drunk Stripping**

 _Video description:_ Yuuri-Kun stripping and the sons playing Truth or Dare!!!

3:45AM Views: 538,367 Comments: 1,506

  
**QueenYuuri:** I FEEL SO BLESSED??? GOD IS REAL MY CROPS ARe GROWING MY SKIN IS CLEARED AND MY DEPRESSION IS GONE

26 Likes 3 Dislikes

  
**EmoTrash189:**   **QueenYuuri** Tbh this guy could give Viktor a run for his money in that stripping movie. I'm straight and even I was seduced lol

14 Likes 2 Dislikes

  
**nikiforoff:** **EmoTrash189** What the actual fuck. You can’t be for real? NO ONE IS BETTER THEN MY HUSBAND. #TeamNikiforov

29 Likes 10 Dislikes

  
**GerardWaifu19: EmoTrash189** lmao I'm  #TeamYuuri. **nikiforoff** take a sip babe ̿̿ ̿'̿’\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

̿̿  
73 Likes 15 Dislikes

  
**EmoTrash189** : **nikiforoff** Leave me alone, I can appreciate this and still like Viktor. I just think Yuuri's hotter

14 Likes 3 Dislikes

  
**MaralaKirstan96:** bout to blow up tumblr with this beut

9 Likes 0 Dislikes

  
**Jesustookmywheel:** This is probably a publicity stunt. Smh don't believe the internet idiots

4 Likes 56 Dislikes

 **GuardionsOfTheYaoi:** Does anyone else feel sexual tension coming off??? It's official. I ship Yuuri and Viktor

4 Likes 19 Dislikes

  
**MarkTompsom69: GuardiansOfTheYaoi** Not everything is gay, you fujoshi. Leave these guys out of your weird fetish….

0 Likes 0 Dislikes

  
**GuardiansOfTheYaoi: MarkTompsom69** honey that's gayer then Elton Johns riding a rainbow. Tf you mean

12 Likes 5 Dislikes

  
  
**ScuttlesBear:** #TEAMYUURI ALL THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS

134 Likes 18 Dislikes

 

 **MCRTrash: ScuttleBear** , im #teamnikiforov all the way

54 Likes 62 Dislikes

  
**inutonice69:** I WONT HESITATE BITCH

65 Likes 19 Dislikes

* * *

  **Tumblr**

2:21AM  **3amSoN-s** posted a video: _Drunk Stripping by the bois. (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

 

**Reblogged by YuriAngelz**

Ayooooooooooo

#gayyyyyyy #stripper yuuri #look at him go

Notes:896

  
**Reblogged by RebekkaFandomz**

This is beautiful, guys look at this

#music #love #3am SoNs #make this go viral

Notes:2,567

  
**Reblogged by Angsty Cereal Lover**

lol I'm _#TeamYuuri_ for who the finer stripper is. Yuuri or Viktor???

#rivals #music #talent #who are they

Notes on post: 769824 likes & 69758 Reblogs

 

* * *

 

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Dancing was some next level shit. If you think about it, I mean _really_ think as if you just stared at your ceiling at 3am and questioned the great mysteries of life and junk, dancing was fuckin nuts.

Firstly, there were a ton of styles. Just like singing and other forms of art, dancing could be depicted in certain ways and constructed to show the deepest emotions or portray a humorous act. Dancing was weird like that. Almost like water and how it flowed and shifted so differently. Then there were the types of dancing.

Ballet was graceful, hip-hop was exciting, salsa was sensual, and stripping was sexual. Those four styles itself were completely unique; a sharp contrast from the other, yet still a demanding task.

To make the perfect dancer — one who could pull off said task — took about three ingredients.

 **1.** A heavy dose of stamina.  
**2.** A dash of flexibility.  
**3.** A cup of confidence.

These three ingredients combined with the power of Eros, aka _"Chemical X"_ created the perfect dancer: Yuuri Katsuki. The enigma of a living dancing god in all looks, shape, and size. Rumor has it that if you get him drunk and challenge him to a dance off, you'll be lucky enough to gain some insight when he wipes the floor with you.

To Phichit, Yuuri was practically a Power Puff girl. Or boy? To be honest, Power Puff anything was hilarious so let's just stuck to PP Yuuri.

Currently PP Yuuri was not appreciating the name. Even when drunk, the boy had his limitations.

"No! I don't want to be called-" he hiccuped, "PP! That's gross..."

Phichit scoffed as if the actual denial offended him. How ungrateful. "Come on you need to sober up. You can't spend all day hiding in the trees."

Phichit wants to regret buying so much alcohol because it led to this, but he kinda can't. They figured out Yuuri was hiding in the kitchen,and a little out of it when they saw him reading a book. When asked what it was, Yuuri replied it was the bible when in fact, it was Leo's Mexican cookbook. Yuuri simply retorted it could still teach him wisdom and that's when they knew he was gone.

"Yuuri come on! Guang-Hong and Leo made you something to drink to help with your hangover!"

Yuuri squinted at him from where he was perched on the roof, brushing a few strands back from his left eye and snickered. "Wha-what about song jill?"

" _Seung Gil_. And with him, I honestly don't know. I'll either get the glare or wake up in Korea tied to a tree in the middle of nowhere." He shuddered at the thought and grabbed at Yuuri, pulling him down by the arm and giving a wheeze when the weight shifted considerably and Yuuri landed on him.

"Ugh, Yuuri! You need to cut back on the alcohol."

"I'm-" Yuuri hiccuped and blearily glared at Phichit."thicker than a snicker and proud."

"Yes honey, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal and I love you, but we need to go home. C'mon."

As if his own religion was against him, a loud rumbling rounded the corner of the street. Yuuri instantly perked up at the noise and watched a little too intensely as the garbage truck picked up a can with it's grabber thingie and tossed the shit in the back. Phichit squirmed underneath the weight of the Japanese man and groaned. Why on earth did Celestino make him get Yuuri off the roof? It wasn't his fault the boy got drunk again. He did buy the abundant alcohol, yea...but geez he was suffering internally too.

Suddenly, Yuuri bolted upright as the vehicle grabbed their trash and bucketed the garbage. When the truck drove off, Yuuri stood up and sprinted after it with a pace so fast it made Phichit's head queazy.

"WAIT! YOU FORGOT ME!"

Phichit spluttered like a fish out of water for a moment before reeling in what just happened. Panic set in and now his Thailand ass is chasing Yuuri down the street. "NO! YUURI, YOU'RE NOT TRASH! GET BACK HERE!"

Okay, so maybe Phichit did regret buying a lot of alcohol.

* * *

 

_Hello peeps! If you enjoy my trashy stories, then feel free to find me on my tumblr at the link below!_

**[MY TUMBLR](https://victuuriscreechhh.tumblr.com) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO! I hope y'all enjoyed!!!!! Please comment it really helps me! Also, I think the show will begin chapter 4. Next chapter will be Viktor's interviews and etc.
> 
> Editor's note: I'm so sorry for the late edit (｡•́︿•̀｡)


	3. Viktor Fuckin Nikiforov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rip Yakov's hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA YALL THOUGHT I WAS DEAD!!!! No, I just got insanely busy and things kept piling up. Hopefully I can get back on schedule and start posting this story every two weeks AT LEAST. 
> 
> *crispy dabs* ALRIGHT YALL! This chapter is dedicated to my wife Katsutacle. Without her id probably would've posted this a lot later 
> 
> Mmmmmmm ok, I hope you all enjoy ;-; I legit stayed up all night writing this, but it's fine tho cause ya girl is going through a hurricane rn so extra free time~
> 
> Edited by nairo_wynd

 

_"Y'know what they called me in flight school? They called me the tailor cause of how I thread the needle." -Lance McClain_

* * *

  

**5 Reasons Why #FallingForFame is Predicted to be the _BEST_ Show this Summer**

_Lydia Major 12:12 pm_

What is it about witnessing the devastating power of celebrities that make it so addictive? We’ve resorted to hiding behind our couch cushions, practically crippled with their hilarity factor, and praising the skies above us. But we just can’t get enough!

Luckily for you, fellow celebrity-loving readers, it’s time to sit back, be thankful you won't be on a show for millions to see, and scroll through our pick of 5 reasons why #FallingForFame is predicted to be the best show EVER.

[screenshot of Yuuri and the band]

_**1\. 3AM SoNs Instagram Stream** _

We’ve all been there, checking on our drunk friends to see if they're fine. Now imagine that, but magnify it by being live on Instagram, add millions of people watching and it may just about equate to the craziest night ever. The 3AM SoNs always seem to surprise us with their many hidden talents, but I'm sure the star of the upcoming show will be Yuuri Katsuki's Eros persona. #Seduced

[picture of Chris posing in a recent Playboy magazine]

_**2\. Christophe Giacommeti** _

This memorable mishap allowed for a new hero to emerge, in the form of Christophe Giacometti. The seductive images he's branded himself have forever ingrained themselves in all of our minds and our rolodex of comebacks. Watch the confounded Chris and completely classic attitude he'll provide! Things are certainly going to get spicy on the show.

[image of the Crispino twins singing together]

_**3\. Crispino Twins** _

The only reason this is going to get interesting is the infamous Michele Crispino attempting to fight off any male attention his sister Sala may receive. Good luck boy! You're gonna need it!

[a small 20 second clip of Viktor dabbing to the Nintendo wii theme song]

_**4\. Viktor Nikiforov** _

Ah, everyone's favorite full grown child! Not only will Viktor's hilarious and charismatic persona bring an army of gushing fangirls, but also a crowd of anxious people hoping to see an interaction with 3AM SoNs Katsuki Yuuri after the faithful live stream. Ha ha I'm still waiting myself!

[cover photo for #FallingForFame]

_**5\. The diversity** _

If you think about it, really think about it, the celebrities range from almost everywhere across the globe. We have some Russian, Japanese, Canadian, Chinese, Thai, it's crazy! I can't wait to see how our beloved Hollywood hotshots will interact this summer! #amazing

Source: _CelebsNOW_

**[Page 4 of 28]**

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**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Janet Jett was, and is, an iconic figure within the expansive Hollywood world. She was practically the love child of Oprah and Jimmy Fallon when it came to talk shows because she was funny, clever, witty and respected, but she had a knack of being overly affectionate. Some celebrities who went on her show found this adorable while others found it... _creepy_.

Viktor was one of those in the _latter_ category.

Janet was a nice woman, real sweet like good sugar and stuff. She's also very articulate and analytical with any guest she had on the show and determined to pry the truth from them one way or another. This was a good thing and bad thing. Good - because she can show one's true intentions, but bad because although she's the best, she's certainly not as great at deciphering character as she's has been depicted on multiple platforms.

It's Wednesday and it's the day Janet updates her webpage. For anyone who goes on her webpage, they can see a review of the celebrities being interviewed soon and a long description based off their mannerisms and acts throughout their career. Mila Babevich sat on the page presented like a perfect angel. She should be, since she's known for her volunteering and sweet voice. Mila was a good girl, a prime example on what living perfection could be.

Yeah, _no._

Anyone who meets Mila Babevich will tell you straight up she's a little _shit_.

It's not the bad little shit either. No, the kind of description used for the redheaded actress was vouched for among the crowds of Hollywood as decent. She was mischievous, a tragic memer, the gayest gal you'll probably ever come across, and a huge dork.

Being Mila was a hilarious struggle in her opinion. She's young, beautiful, popular, and constantly paraded with the other two sought out Russian actors. One of them being Hollywood's golden boy, Viktor Nikiforov. On most occasions when she's cornered by paparazzi; she's asked the same damn question over and over again.

_"What is your relationship to Viktor Nikiforov?"_

Viktor fuckin Nikiforov, in all honesty, was a damn hoe who stole her hairdryer every time he took a damn shower. He's also the same fucker that stole her favorite blue nail polish because he thought it matched his eyes better than her own, but he's also the gay man child that spams her Instagram inbox with puppy videos and sneaks her desserts when she's on strict diets for movies, so Viktor's like the older brother she's never had. Of course she can't voice that opinion to the general public because Yakov wants to keep things mysterious with the reply of "He's just a fellow colleague", but god so help her because if Mila has to hear about how perfect she and Viktor would be together than she's going to break out in insane laughter and expose that bald headed man's plan for keeping things spicy.

Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"MILA! MILA, LOOK!"

Mila looks because she's got a phone shoved in her face and it's kinda hard not to. On the screen is a YouTube video of a guy stripping on a pole to upbeat pop music while people screech babbled things in the background. If this wasn't interesting enough, it's actually more so because Viktor usually shows animal videos or memes about them on twitter instead of videos like this.

"What is it?"

"It's my future husband!" Viktor exclaimed. Mila raised a brow at the bold news and grabbed the phone to get a better look. Squinting a bit, she's realized a few things in even fewer seconds because the bitch be analytical as fuck. One is that the dancing isn't bad, and the other is that it's Yuuri fuckin Katsuki.

_Wait..._

"I didn't know you were a fan of 3am SoNs Vitya!" She screamed. Mila clapped her hands excitedly and thrusted the phone back at Viktor. "We could've gone to their concerts together, asshole! You should've told me you were a slut for Eros!"

Viktor's eyes widened and his face flushed at the accusation. He can't lie because he's probably the biggest slut for Eros that ever was or would be, but he also doesn't want to admit shit to this redheaded gossiping hoe. Don't get him wrong, Mila is a sister to him, but she can't keep a secret even if it saved her life. He's about to say something and it looked like Mila was about to also, but Yuri walks into the green room they're currently in and flashes a smug look that tells him he's more fucked than Chris's asshole.

"Hey hags! The floor is lava!"

There's a split second of absolute dread that courses through the veins of the two elder Russians. Then in two seconds, Mila is glaring at a blanched Viktor then taking off in a dead sprint and trying to climb the large eight foot cabinet in the back. Yuri is quickly counting down from 5 to 1 and Viktor's options are limited because there's only 3 seconds left and the room only has a glass table and small couch left, but Yuri's claimed the couch as his own so Viktor's gigantic frame is leaping on the small table by the last second.

" _Pfffffft!_ Wow!" Yuri shouted as he sunk into the couch cackling.

Viktor crosses his arms and pouts about the sudden death he almost suffered. The game was simple. Basically someone would yell, "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" and the shouter would count down five seconds. If you weren't off the ground in those five seconds then you'd die a imaginary fiery death. The three actors became extremely competitive in this and decided one year that whoever lost, they would shave their head. Now that the threat was impending, they would randomly exclaim the start of the game to throw the others off.

Viktor had first introduced the game when he was 15. Back then Mila was a girl with cooties and Yuri was a shy boy who never talked to anyone. The three were thrusted into a relationship due to Viktor's abrasive nature and tendency to do things.

It had been lunch time and Yuri was sitting by himself, like he normally did each day. In his hands was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which he was happily enjoying. It was a simple meal, easy to make, but to him it was like a feast because his mom had made it.

That's when Mila came along.

"Is that peanut butter and jelly?" she asked him, pointing to his sandwich.

Yuri, who still had a mouthful, could only nod.

"Can I have it?"

Yuri swallowed his food and looked at her with a baffled expression. There was no way he was going to give up his sandwich, to a girl at that, "No."

Mila's eyes narrowed slightly and she shoved him. Her push was so hard it sent Yuri to the ground. Mila smiled brightly and took his now vacant seat. Taking a hold of his sandwich, she took a huge bite from it.

Yuri stood up and glared at her. There was no way she was going to get away with that! That sandwich belonged to him, not her! So, with a new found bravery, Yuri shoved her. Mila fell off the seat, dropping the sandwich onto the table in the process. Yuri smirked and reclaimed his seat, as well as his lunch.

Mila stood up and looked at him. Yuri looked back at her. For a full minute it was a staring contest, neither one of them moving or blinking.

Then, suddenly, a smile spread across her face, "You're alright, kid."

Yuri couldn't help, but mimic her expression, _"I know I am."_

Along with it being lunchtime, it was also a boring day. Viktor had joined the table with the two and they all sat with their heads down awaiting for Yakov to come out of his meeting.

Viktor sighed and turned a page in the magazine he had been reading. The article on the next page caught his attention and his eyes went wide. He sat up in his seat, his slouching position corrected, and pulled the magazine closer to him with genuine interest.

 _ **'Fun Games to Pass Up the Time'** _ was the article's title.

Upon reading it, Viktor glanced at the two with the corner of his eye. Yuri was still deeply engrossed with his meal and Mila had started snoring.

Turning back to the magazine, Viktor gave a hum before he resumed reading. As he read on, a new door had been opened to him and a surreptitious game had been revealed. The article clearly stated that "The floor is lava" was a great way to mess with children while having fun. Viktor couldn't believe that one game could hold so much sagacity.

He felt enlightened.

Marking his page, Viktor placed his magazine on the table and took out his gum and stuck it to Mila's empty soda can. He tapped Mila's shoulder.

Mila groaned and turned to him, Yuri blinking in curiosity at Viktor's smirk. "What?"

"The floor is lava."

Ever since that faithful day, the three had continued on with this incredulous game. When Yakov started asking questions, Viktor claimed that the game increased your reflexes, but really he just liked shouting it to scare the shit out of Mila and young Yuri.

Speaking of which...

"Yuri, you little cunt!" Mila screamed. Miraculously she had managed to scale up the cabinet, but she looked terrified from the top where she hung. "I could've fucked up my nails!"

" _Ooooo~_ Is the all mighty Mila worried about a little chipped nail?" Viktor cooed from his spot. Yuri and him laughed and Mila glared at the duo.

"Shut up Viktor, you're the one who cries when the hairdresser combs your fringe back and your big ass forehead blinds everyone."

Viktor slowly stopped laughing and pouted while Mila smirked and looked at Yuri. "And _you_ look like a Russian Taylor Swift!"

Yuri, who was in the middle of cackling, stopped and leapt off the couch so fast that Viktor nearly fell off the table. "Fight me!"

"Come at me then, pussy!"

_"OH FU-" **crash!**_

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

"Good evening Sala!"

Sala turned around from where she sat spinning in a rolling chair, and noticed her brother leaning against the doorway to her room with two chai teas. She smiled and beckoned him into the room, but only because he had tea and she was too tired to kick him out. Sala loves her brother, but he was too protective and a bad bitch needs her space.

But he had chai so...

"Hi Mikey. How are you?" Sala spoke, taking a sip from her purple cup. Mikey walked across the room and dramatically sighed, falling back against her bed.

"Stressed out. How am I supposed to protect you from all those boys when we go on Falling For Fame Friday?"

"Wow that's a tongue twister." Sala snickered, rolling her eyes.

Mickey frowned. "I'm serious, Sala. Out of those 15 people only _two_ of them will be girls and you're one of the two!"

"Mikey, y'know you don't have to worry about me anymore... I'm not some little girl."

"But you are my little sister."

Sala scoffed. "We're twins!"

"But I was born _first_ so-"

"Shut up before I throw my tea on you." Sala hissed. Mikey huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at the wall. God forgive him for wanting to protect his sister like an awesome knight, but _nooooo_ she's too cool for that apparently?

How ungrateful. Shaking my head.

Mikey's ears perked up when he heard a sigh and when he looks up, he sees a bean bag being smacked into his face. He flopped back and squinted a bit before raising an eyebrow at his sister. Sala smiled at him and motioned for him to sit beside her where she held her laptop. "C'mon, you can watch Janet Jett with me tonight. Viktor Nikiforov is going to be on the show and I heard she was going to discuss Falling For Fame with him and Milla!"

Now it was Mikey's turn to roll his eyes. "Is this going to be like Katsuki's stream?"

Sala blushed at that. It's kinda hard to forget that incident because when she watched it with Michele and the stripping began, she had to stop him from throwing her laptop out the window. "N-no. It's just a talk show so it'll be professional."

He didn't look convinced at that because Michele's not really a big advocate in what's hip, but he just shrugs and sat down to join her. "Fine, fine."

Sala smirked at that and pulled up the site to watch it live. "Oh Mikey you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mikey! Hey hey! Hey Mik-"

"You're my sister, but I'll slap you if you sing that."

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Jean Jacques-Leroy was known as many things amongst his peers and those who knew of him.

To the fans he was the handsome rockstar: tall, baby blue eyes, shaved undercut, caramel colored skin, and muscles the size of footballs. It was never a dull day when one got to see JJ on stage. With JJ the cheers came naturally, like second nature, they were never forced.

To his friends, he was a very fun person to hang out with: with him around one would always be guaranteed a good time. He was the life of the party. JJ could always get his friends laughing.

To his fiancé he was one of the most caring people in the world: he was like a loveable teddy bear. Despite the obnoxious exterior, Jean knew how to be gentle and compassionate. He had strong, yet soft, hands and a big heart.

To his parents he was a perfect son: he would always do as his parents requested, never once mouthing off. He was responsible and respectful, he was no trouble at all. He would help around the house even when it wasn't part of his chores.

JJ had so much to be thankful for: his friends, family, fiancé, and celebrity status. And he was thankful for it all, but, above all, he was thankful for one thing in particular.

His voice.

Jean liked to think of himself as a good singer. Hell, he'll even declare greatness with what he's done so far. Rather _Kingly_  he could vouch.

Y'see Jean, or JJ, is an iconic figure in the country of beavers and maple syrup. Yes, it's Canada not Disney World we're talking about, but besides that point, he's a celebrity which means he's going to be on Falling For Fame. This alone was a feat to accomplish within his rockstar career, but there was one little problem.

He would be _dethroned_.

Fifteen celebrities would be crammed in a mansion on Miami beach by this Friday and he had no plan to out woo them. He's not gonna lie, he's got some tough competition for becoming the main character of the show. JJ actually thought he had it in the bag since Viktor Nikiforov was just an actor and he was a full fledged rockstar. When it came down to it, they were their own kings in a game of chess. The actor and the rockstar. Two stars, one show.

Then Mcfuckin Yuuri Katsuki pops in out of nowhere and JJ is shook as fuck.

JJ recalled how he realized he was fucked in this situation. Firstly, his dear Isabella had squealed so loud that a vase broke. When he was alerted by her cries, he ran into the room and saw her fangirling about some stripper. At first, he was betrayed, but when he realized the entirety of the situation was just a drunken fiasco gone wrong; he was now scared. Eros was a great musician. Actually, an amazing one and that was hella sketchy for the King to meet his maker. It doesn't help that Yuuri dedicated the show to Viktor and now the 3AM SoNs fandom was losing their shit.

"Jean! Jean honey, are you still with us?"

JJ blinked back and looked over to see Janet Jett snapping her fingers in front of his face. The audience started to laugh at his dazed expression and he's trying to piece back what's happened so far. He guesses he must've zoned out when Janet asked about the Falling For Fame cast.

JJ gave a confident smile. "Ah, _yes_ , yeah I'm with you Janet."

"Okay, good! Well our time is coming to an end pretty soon and we'll need to bring the rest of your cast out!" Janet cheered. JJ rose a brow.

"The rest?"

"Ah, yes well-" the audience began to _'ooooo'_ at the announcement for the new guests. Janet laughed and put a finger to her mouth to shush them. " _SHHH!_ Yes! Yes, JJ I invited everyone who was available to make it today. Luckily Viktor, Milla, you, and Yuri could."

Someone in the audience shouted,"WHICH YURI THOUGH?!"

"YURI PLISETSKY!"

JJ laughed at the quick exchange and crossed his feet. It would be difficult to get used to living with two people who had the same name. "Y'know... I actually watched Katsuki's stream. I didn't get to see all of it, but I did see his...er, _dancing_?"

The two balconies crowded with people began to _"OOOOOOOH"_ or screamed in unison. The response was a mix of enthusiasm to an unidentifiable noise. Janet laughed from behind her desk and grabbed a stack of papers from the cover and began to fan herself. "Ah that Katsuki sure is full of surprises!"

"You could say that again." JJ fired back with a mischievous smirk. "But...so am _I_."

"Oh really now?"

"Absolutely." JJ glanced at the audience then at the camera propped up on the stage right. "I can strip also."

 _"Woa-"_ The audience began to yell in encouragement and excitement. Janet's voice was buried within the excessive noise that it took one of the security guards to quiet down the crowd. JJ gave a nervous laugh, knowing damn well he couldn't strip for shit, but decided to YEET out the situation as quick as he could.

"Haha, alright alright I should get going! I got a lot of packing to do Janet."

"Oh yes!" Janet jumped up from her chair and ran out from the back of her desk.

"Can I do it with you?" There was a pause, "My names Janet Jett so I mean... It's JJ style?"

"You don't have to ask to do that!" JJ threw his head back in laughter. "Alright on the count of three. 1...2...3!" The two looked at the camera and performed the iconic hand gesture along with the audience joining in with their own screams.

_"IT'S JJ STYLE!"_

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

It's been said throughout the years that Yakov had the patience of a god. Yakov on the other hand didn't really understand why. He knew his line of work was stressful, what with the deadlines, hecklers of Hollywood, annoying paparazzi and actors, but to be compared to something that high was just an exaggeration.

At least that is what he _used_ to think until _now_.

Yakov is gonna admit he's going bald because that shit is obvious as fuck. If he had it his way, he'd wear a cool hat everyday, but he can't hide from society forever and it's not like his stress is just going to get up and leave. If he's figuratively speaking, it possibly could because all this unnecessary discourse he felt was concentrated with three certain Russian clients. Is this how a dad felt? Yakov thinks so because when he walks into the green room where the makeup team had alerted him of a small quarrel, he sees what happened and automatically wants to walk in and smack the shit out of his 'supposed' professional actors.

The scene before him will probably haunt him later when he writes a cheque to amend the damages caused. Firstly, Viktor is screeching _"Begone Demon!"_ while standing on a very expensive table holding a broom stick attempting to whack Yuri in the corner close by. Yuri, on the other hand is thrashing wildly and screaming atrocious things at Mila who's on a flipped over cabinet flipping him off and throwing pillows. There's so much ridiculous screaming and things wrong with this picture that Yakov want to cry to the skies on why he's cursed with these immature nutsacks.

"ENOUGH!" Yakov screamed. Instantaneously, the three whip their heads over to him and stop what they're doing. Finally, Viktor speaks up.

"Hi Yako-" Viktor, who was beaming at Yakov like an innocent child, was now crashing through the table and flopping to the ground in such an un-Nikiforov way that the makeup team looming in the background began to lose their shit. Unlike the cosmetic crew, Yakov isn't so amused.

"If you three don't get your act together this instant I _swear_ to god I will sign you all up for the new Twilight reboot."

Viktor and Yuri gave a horrified look before sprinting out the room with Mila not far behind.

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

 

[video of Yuri screaming in the dressing room behind a group of people laughing. In the corner you see a broom poking him and hear Russian screaming]

 **887 likes** · 1h

 **samantha_gdi** I went to do their makeup and saw this! You guys are hilarious! @v-nikiforov @yuri-plisetsky @mila.babevich #FallingForFame #FFF #hype #lol

view all 56 comments

 **nekosenpai** @purriya @crispdipndots one of y'all make fanart rn

 **phichit+chu** (ﾉ °◕ヮ°◕)ﾉ✧・ﾟ: *

 **alice_in_the_sky** @phichit+chu HOW ARE YOU EVERYWHERE WTF

 **AngelicYurio17** look at my son being beautiful!!! Ah! What is he saying he sounds so mad!!! :(

 **crispynextra** get rekt u lil shit

 **thetailor** someone translate this pls

 **queefkocaine** @thetailor @AngelicYurio17 it sounds like "Begone Demon" ???

 **salamiJoe** I CAN HEAR MILA SCREAMING OH MY GOD

 **fuck_trxmp** someone make this a meme

 **otabae** wow Yurio sounds just like me

 **hoetar7** @otabae explain

 **otabae** @hoetar7 I'd cry too if a broom was shoved at me

 **ricksanwhich** 10/10 would watch again  
________________________________

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Janet Jett is a good talk show host and like every good talk show host, they have their fancy set up. Janet was simple with hers, but their was a certain fort of elegance that worked well with it.

There was a gigantic pink desk with a leather chair in the back corner where she resided. Beside that was a black leather couch. Two exactly, both very large to accommodate groups and for her to sit in if she wanted. The background held a large monitor of a random city, but it also doubled as a TV for juicy gossip that needed to be exploited for ratings.

Janet liked her job and it seemed that the audience did too. Maybe they appreciated her effort in exposing the phonies in Hollywood, but Janet knows she enjoys her job because of all the hot guys. Y'see, Janet is a smart cookie and a very persuasive one at that. If she plays her cards right, she can have Justin Timberlake on her show by Monday because she's just that good. Basically, Janet is the ultimate fangirl and she's living the ultimate fan life. There was a lot of hot guys in Hollywood, like _a lot_ , but like every fangirl, they have their favorite.

Yes, you guessed it. Viktor fuckin Nikiforov.

He was the picture perfect guy in her opinion. Lovely silver hair, sparkling blue eyes that were to die for, soft pale skin and a tall, slim body - he was the man of her dreams. It was as if the Gods themselves had sculpted him to perfection.

To Janet Jett, Viktor Nikiforov was flawless.

Janet gave a longing sigh and spun around in her chair. She needed to be enthusiastic, not love stricken. Humming to herself, the cameras began to roll and her knight in shining armor approached the couch along with Mila and Yuri. The applause of the audience began to become deafening and she stood up to greet them.

"Welcome! Welcome! _Ah, ah, ah,_ Viktor! Where's my kiss?"

Viktor gave a charming smile, but inside he's like all of us. Internally dead and wanting to be anywhere else rather where than he is at the moment. Janet skips to him and smooches his cheek and it takes all of Viktor's will power to resist the urge to smear off the mix of expensive lipstick and slobber.

The three actors quickly settle down and after the audience calms a bit, Janet is beaming behind her position at the desk and looking pointedly at Mila.

"How are you guys? Are you all ready for Friday?" Janet clapped her hands. "I even brought you guys a cake for a goodbye present!"

Mila doesn't skip a beat. "Thank you and God yes. I can't wait for some vacation time and to meet the others."

"Me too." Yuri huffs, crossing his arms. "I just want to get out of work."

The audience laughs at the comment because the shit's relatable and cheeky. Plus it's Yuri Plisetsky saying it so even if he were to say "I hate puppies" there's guaranteed to be one member of the Yuri's Angel fandom dying of laughter.

Janet giggles and nods. "Ah, don't we all?" She hums and practically purrs when she speaks to Viktor. "How about you, big boy? Ready for Falling For Fame?"

"More like ready for some _dic_ -" Mila coughs when she notices Yakov staring her down in the corner. "I mean, _yes_ he's excited. I'm sure he has a few questions for a certain someone also."

The audience coos and Viktor is flushing as red as a tomato. He was hoping no one would bring up the stream because lord help him, if they bring up Yuuri Katsuki, he's gonna gush about him like a horny teenage girl.

"Ah! Yes! I've been wanting to know if Viktor saw the infamous Yuuri Katsuki stream on Instagram." Janet said.

Viktor cleared his throat and gave a chuckle. "Haha, yes, yes I saw."

"And what did you think?"

Mila snickers and Yuri is enjoying the fact Viktor is resembling a fish out of water. The poor man was flabbergasted, but not in the confused way. More like how do you _not_ show how thirsty you are for the love of your life.

"Well..." Viktor blanches and swallows. "I loved it."

"Wait, really?"

"Haha, yeah...it was very flattering."

"I would say it was more than flattering if a man _that_ gorgeous dedicated his stripping show to me." Mila spoke up. The audience laughed and Yuri rolled his eyes.

"I agree with Mila. Hey, can we pull up that stream?"

Janet and everyone in the audience wait not even a minute before the viral video is displayed on the wall. The three actors turn and Viktor is chewing his bottom lip because Yuuri looks even better like this. The screen is HD and Viktor is trying to palm away the boner he's got when Yuuri curves about the pole and sticks his ass out just right.

_"Ngh...crush me with your thighs."_

Janet looked back at Viktor, startled. "What was that Viktor?"

"Uh, I said I want some burgers and fries?"

Mila bursts out laughing because she knows what Viktor just said. Yuri on the other hand looks disgusted and scoots away from the two and face palms. Viktor pouts and suddenly has an idea to distract Janet from attempting to ask any more question on Eros.

Viktor whispers,"Hey Mila."

"Hm?"

"Do you wanna fuck with Yuri?"

"Hell yeah, but how?"

"On the count of three." Viktor looked back up at the video and noticed the show was almost ending. "We yell the floor is lava at the same time."

"Oh my god yes."

A few seconds later and the video is ending. Janet and the audience clap and then there's a loud stomp. Both Mila and Viktor are standing and looking like eager little shits. "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!"

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" Yuri screeches. Mila and Viktor high five and watch the madness unfold. Firstly, the audience cackle at the change of events and Janet is confusedly watching Yuri search desperately around for a safe grounding. Then there's a scream from her because Yuri is bounding up her desk and tripping on a loose sheet of paper and crashing onto her on the floor a second later.

Viktor and Mila lose their shit. Mila began crying and Viktor was choking on the ground from their heavy laughter.

Yuri gritted his teeth, the anger growing up inside of him like an expanding balloon. The nerve of those assholes! The balloon of anger popped and the anger was let loose. Looking around frantically Yuri spotted the food table. Stomping over to it, he took a big piece of Janet's goodbye cake, and took aim.

_Fire!_

The cake soared in the air, getting closer and closer to the stage, and then it hit...

It hit Yakov.

"Oh... shit..." Yuri flinched at the fiery glare Yakov sent him.

"This will be discussed," he growled. "Later."Yakov stormed away and the film crew in the back immediately made a path for him. They didn't want to get on his bad side. That was like asking for a death wish, only a fool would do that.

And speaking of fools...

All eyes turned towards Yuri and laughter began to rumble amongst the crowd. Yuri grumbled and returned back to his seat where the two hyenas laid rolling on the ground.

"What...what just happened?" Janet asked.

Viktor peeled his face off the floor and wheezed. "10 years were added to my life is what!"

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

 

eros-daddy @eros-daddy · 17m

So Viktor really gonna do this? Act all cute and steal my heart like that? Bruh

 

princehoetar @princehoetar · 12m

I've never seen someone yeet out a situation so fast I can't with this kid

 

niktorvikiforov @niktorvikiforov · 10m

Y'all i s2g I heard Viktor say "crush me with your thighs" like legit. PLUS HE LOVED THE STREAM IN SCREAMING

 

mrsnikiforov @mrsnikiforov · 7m

@niktorvikiforov nahhhhhhh don't even say that shit. You'll get the shippers involved

 

gayson24 @gayson24 · 6m

@mrsnikiforov lmao too late. I'm already up in this bitch what up

 

katsudamn @kataudamn · 5m

AINT NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT VIKTOR AND MILLA PULLED A FAST ONE ON YURI AND DID HIM DIRTY???

 

milanikiforov @milanikiforov · 4m

If Mila and Viktor don't end up dating by the end of #FallingForFame I'm gonna stab myself

 

kenjurokiddo @kenjurokiddo · 3m

@milanikiforov ha rip bitch. It's Victuuri now

 

yaoiqueen @yaoiqueen · 3m

OMG IS VICTUURI A THING NOW??? @kenjurokiddo

 

mrsnikiforov @mrsnikiforov · 2m

Son of a bitch-

 

princeleroy12 @princeleroy12 · 1m

Falling For Fame comin out this Friday y'all. You bitches finna catch me on the couch tweeting it up. #FallingForFame #Victuuri #YASS

 

phichulanont @phichulanont · 1m

#Victuuri you say? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

* * *

 

**Twitter**

11:56 AM

**Trending Now**

#FallingForFame  
#TheFloorIsLava  
#Beyonce  
#LavaMeme  
#Coco  
#notmyshiro  
#Catfish  
#picklerick  
#TGIF  
#Victuuri

* * *

 

_Hello peeps! If you enjoy my trashy stories, then feel free to find me on my tumblr at the link below!_

**[MY TUMBLR](https://victuuriscreechhh.tumblr.com) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADA! this is actually the last chapter with separate character development. Next chapter will be the moment you're all waiting for!!! Everyone's gonna meet in Miami!!!! 
> 
> Alright ya fuckers. Please comment and support because I'm shit and need validation. I love you all and thank you :,)
> 
> Editor's note: I'm dead. I've dieded. And I'm so very late to the party. XP


	4. Welcome to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meme team strike again and Viktor's thirst ain't as slick as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello kiddos. It's ya girl Gayson here with this ungodly update because my life is riggity riggity wrecked. Firstly, Hurricane Harvey hit hella hard where I lived. I live near Houston and that shit was crazy m8. Secondly, I'm a slut fot Lance so I induldged in wayyyyy too many klance and lancelot fics. Then season 4 dropped and I was deceased. woo boi 
> 
> A N Y W A Y S... I live bitch. Please enjoy this chapter and thank you for being so patient. Love ya!
> 
> Edited by nairo_wynd

_"Is a mummy just a zombie wrapped in toilet paper? " - a hit blunt meme I saw once on twitter_

* * *

 

[image of a gigantic mansion on the beach with bold golden words stating: 'FALLING FOR FAME' with smaller white words contrasting nicely at the bottom saying: 'Premiering tonight at 8PM CST ']

 **3,924** **likes** · 1h

 **FFFofficial** Are you ready to be Falling for Fame? #FallingForFame #FFF #3AMSoNs #GeorgiPopovich #ViktorNikiforov #MilaBabivich #Crispinotwins #YuriPlisetsky #JJStyle #DJotabek #ChristopherGiacometti

view all 549 comments

 **phichit+chu** YES BRUH  
  
**daddybeka** bitch I been ready wdym

 **crispndots** @gayson24 are we watchin this at my house or urs???

 **victuuri.4tw** THE SOON TO BE ICONIC MEETING OF THE CENTURY IS ONLY A FEW HOURS AWAY NOW

 **alice_in_the_sky** @phichit+chu DO YOU LIVE ONLINE???!!!!

 **thetailor** this show hasn't even came out yet and it's already got a fanfic on it. Smh

 **3amgaysonss** my body is ready

 **memeking13** god bless my poor gay little soul I'm shaking

 **mrseros** I just wanna see if Yurio figured out he was a meme yet

 **queefkocaine** @thetailor woah woah woah, what's the fanfic called???

 **salamiJoe** who else thinks that Mickey is gonna have a heart attack bc of all the guys in the house

 **fuck_trxmp** @salamiJoe me

 **otabae** @salamiJoe MEE

 **hoetar7** @thetailor I too am interested in this fanfic u speak of

 **ricksanwhich** I'm ready for all the gay

 **viktyurri** I got my popcorn all set

 **thetailor** @queefkocaine @hoetar7 it's called Yuri!!! On ice it's pretty ok tbh

 **hoetar7** @thetailor thx

 **queefkocaine** @thetailor Tf is that? Sounds like figure skating

 **AngelicYurio17** YURACHKA BABY IM GONNA WATCH U

 **thetailor** @queefkocaine it is lmao. Sorta boring tho

 **victuuribitch** @thetailor boring my ass, I bet u still read it

 **bitchitchulo** AYYYYYY

 **thetailor** @victuuribitch you're godamn right I do

* * *

  **✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

A road trip across the country with your best friend sounds like a great opportunity to bond. Firstly, they can't escape your company when you're in another state and you're both sorta forced to talk. Chances are, your car isn't a fucking rocket so there's going to be a surplus of hours for communication. Sounds great, right?

Keyword: _Sounds._

Fifteen hours in a pink Cadillac with Viktor Nikiforov was actually torture. You would think the man would take a nap, but no, he's some insomniac little shit that can ramble for hours about whatever crosses his mind. Christophe isn't one to speak though, because truth be told, Viktor's 69% sure he's going to rip out his hair and be bald by the time they reach Miami.

The thing is, Chris and Viktor are like the same side of a magnet. Let's say they're both the South side because they're shitty, and will let you down in life. _Anyways_ , with a magnet, there's a north pole and a south pole, and the north end of one magnet will stick to the south end of another magnet. But if two north poles or two south poles are placed near each other, the magnets will push each other away.

That's right, science, bitch. To sum this up, both are irresponsible, fully grown flamboyant men that have very strong opposing ideas.

Now, Yakov wasn't too upset about the idea of Viktor being stuck in a car with Chris for 30+ hours while driving the 4,000 something miles it would take for them to reach Miami. In fact, he seemed too worked up with handling Yuri and Milla's issue of being heavy sleepers to care. Just a shooing motion with his hand and a text message that told him to be at the requested mansion before 8 o'clock was Viktor's goodbye.

Ah, back to the Chris and Viktor's issue. Masumi had been the responsible boyfriend and made sure Chris had money for snacks and road stops along with enough blankets for napping and comfort. To say the least, it was extremely awkward for Viktor to watch from the driver's seat as his best friend was being doted over by his sweet heart. Sorta made him feel lonely as fuck, but that wasn't anything new. The first few states were fine as they drove through because it was just simple talk and where they should go to eat. Then the music happened.

There's some ancient tale of the driver being the chooser aka commander of any musical output the vehicle produces. Viktor and Chris had switched a few times, but suddenly it seemed a pattern had come out of this. It was like they had the same music taste; which yes, that's fine, but also not. To try to put the situation into words, it's like you have a playlist with 200 something songs, ok? With those songs, you only listen to about 20 of them and skip the rest. This was Viktor and Chris's issue. Apparently the opposite party would play the song that would've been skipped by the other.

"Christopher Gia- _fucking_ -cometti, if you play another Britney Spears song-"

Christophe, who sat with his sun glasses titled down to the bridge of his nose and had one hand on the leopard printed steering wheel, smacked away Viktor's hand and tsked. "It's not, don't worry."

"Don't smack me you little shit." Viktor retorted, retreating his hand, preferring to cross his arms and pout.

The song began with a peppy cheer and some god awful noise started to hum as Chris raised an eyebrow. "I'm taller than you."

"You've sunken yourself down to my level."

"I see Yurio's been rubbing off on you." Chris said.

"No, I-" Viktor paused when the song began to blare lyrics.

_'WOOOAH WOOAH THIS IS WHAT I WANNA DO-WOOOAH WOOAH, let's have some fun..'_

It took five seconds. Five fucking seconds and Viktor was clawing at Chris's hand as he protected the aux cord plug with a smirk.

_'_ _BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM! LET'S SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER-'_

"Chris, you disgust me!"

"Ah monsieur, don't act like you don't have this song on your phone." Chris cooed, turning down an exit.

"I do, but that doesn't mean I listen to it."

"Who has a song on their phone and never listens to it?"

Viktor made a face. "Everyone?"

"Mmm." Chris hummed as if he was remotely amused. "Ok."

"Whatever, just put on another damn song."

Chris glanced at the child beside him with the flattest look manageable before grabbing his phone and unlocking the screen. It took a bit, but in a flash, Viktor had snatched the phone from Chris's hand and gave him an irritated glare.

"Why the hell did you-"

"Keep your eyes on the road."

Chris scoffed, feeling a temple pulse. "Geez, is the _great_ Viktor Nikiforov being responsible for once?"

"Well." Viktor gave a scrutinizing look as he popped his tongue. "Someone fucking has to."

Chris opened his mouth with a sly grin, but Viktor beat his witty retort. "And no, I did not just quote Camp Camp Camp."

"Would've been cooler if you did." He grumbled, rolling his eyes.

The car was silent once again as Chris drove on. They weren't too far from Miami at this point and according to the phone Christopher was grounded from thanks to daddy Viktor, it was 6:47 PM which meant they were ahead on schedule. Each Fergie and Disney song was suddenly becoming worth it. There was a pattern Viktor had calculated, something he was rather proud of, thank you very much.

So, there's 60 minutes in one hour and the duo had about an hour and a quarter left before they reached their destination. Technically one hour and 13 minutes, but Viktor's rolling with 15. Anyways, each song is about 4 minutes long so that means if you listened to 15 songs then 60 minutes would've passed, but he hadn't included the extra 13 minutes, so that makes 3.25 songs which can just be rounded to 3. Ah, so actually 18 more songs before they reach Miami.

Look at Viktor doing math. He felt fucking smart as hell.

"Chris." Viktor cooed as he tilted his sunglasses to look at the man. Said man, turned the current Beyonce song down and glanced at Viktor from behind his own set of Gucci eye wear. "We have 18 songs left before we reach Miami."

Now it was Chris's turn to make a face because how the fuck does Viktor process shit like this. Viktor saw the look, and being who he is, took offense immediately and frowned. "What?"  
  
"Nothin', nothin'." Chris spared a glance, biting his lip, trying to appease the situation by changing the subject. "So...what did you bring for presentations or whatever?"

Ah, presentations. With a group of culturally diverse celebrities ranging from over 10 different countries, it was no surprise that some education was gonna get shoved in. Kubo, aka the creator of the show, had tweeted to everyone participating that it would be a good idea for each participant to bring something they felt that represented them from their home country for a good introduction to the others. The idea was smart and had almost a million retweets so it was clearly a well liked one.

"Aha! I brought one of these little bastards!" Viktor launched himself to the back of the car and dug around for a good minute before coming back and showing a matryoshka Russian doll.

"You brought _that?_ "

A nod. "Yes! Look they're even painted like me!" Viktor cooed proudly. Indeed they were, the very first doll having a heart faced smiling Viktor.

Chris grinned. "How many of those bitches do you have?"

"I got 4." Viktor proceeded to open them, not acknowledging Chris's slowly falling demeanor when each doll pulled out looked sadder then the other. The last doll was about the size of Viktor's thumb.

It was him crying.

"Look, I'm an ugly crier." Viktor laughed, wiggling the little thing. Chris gave a smile, but it was clear it wasn't real.

"Well...yours is definitely better than mine."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Chris nodded to the back. "I brought a big ass box of chocolate from this local chocolateer I used to go to as a kid. They're amazing."

As soon as the word "chocolate" was said, Viktor had already started reaching for the box. Chris raised his foot, swerving the car as he did so and kicked Viktor's arm away. There was a screech and a loud honk as they swiveled through two lanes.

"What the fuck Chris?!"

"Don't touch my godamn chocolate you asswipe!"

"Fine, whatever." Viktor began to pout again.

Chris sighed. "Do you want to...do you wanna go to Starbucks?"

The pout was quickly replaced with a cheer. "Yass!"

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

If this was Vegas and if Guang-Hong had alcohol, he would get turned the fuck up and probably marry himself with how fine of a honey he looked like right now.

Walking out from the changing room, Guang-Hong adjusted the knot of black silk at his collar, unused to the light pressure that the tie issued against his throat. Leo opened the curtain next, buttoning his pants. They looked at their reflection in the mirrors lined on the wall.

“I feel like James Bond in this.” Leo twirled, smiling a shit eating grin.

“We’re classy bitches now.”

“Yes we are, babe. “

Celestino drew the velvet curtain back, the metal ringlets hissing across the metal rod and peeked inside, ignoring the sexual tension between the two.

"Are you _three_ done, yet? We need to hurry up and get going if we don't want to be late."

Leo chose to ignore him and stuffed one hand languidly into his front pocket, sucking on his lower lip. “Of all the fitting rooms you walked into mine, Guang." He grinned and stuck out his hand. "Sup, name’s Leo and I got a weakness for guys with a cute face and sweet ass.”

Celestino gagged and made a sound of disgust. “Right here, Leo, I did not fucking leave.”

“Mines Guang-Hong,” the Chinese man practically purred as he introduced, choosing to ignore their manager's increasing moans of agony as he checked Leo head to toe with no pretense or restraint. Fine on all accounts, damn, son. “I have a weakness for slutty guys who have big dicks.”

“Still here!”

“You’re in luck. I’m a slut.”

“I’m thick.”

“And I'm forever scarred. Call me when Phichit is done.”

Celestino left and Guang-Hong gave a giggle then twirled, making Leo whistle. “Aye, papi.“

Guang-Hong snorted and stuck his thumbs into the front pockets and hummed.

"Hey Phichit! Are you done in there yet?!"

"I can't go out like this guys! The show is cancelled, my life is over, everything is doomed!"

Leo and Guang-Hong exchanged a look and frowned.

"Wot!"

_"I SAID I'M DONE!"_

The two boys winced at the magnitude of the yell. Guang-Hong seemed concerned and Leo almost amused. Being that Leo was known as the kind kiddo, it's miraculous how some people were oblivious to the little shit he actually was.

"We're coming in!" Leo announced, already dragging his man into the unknown disaster zone. Phichit gave a screech when they entered and coiled into himself, covering his face as he cried dramatically, "Don't look at me!"

"Phichit." Leo sighed. "C'mon, buddy, chum, amigo, pal, it can't be that bad."

"Yeah. I'm sure you look great!" Guang-Hong encouraged because he's a _fucking_ angel — thank you very much.  
  
Phichit stood up and faced the mirror.

Mirror Phichit glared right back at the real Phichit.

On all accounts, Phichit looked fine as hell. His ebony locks were combed to the side, his eyeliner could stab a bitch, the suit tailored to him nicely, giving way to those enticing curves he worked hard for and revealing that leaned muscle which resulted from plenty of hours in dancing with Yuuri, gave him. He was handsome and could murder in that suit. Everything was on point.

Except one large glaring pimple shattered the image.

Leo and Guang-Hong winced at the thing narrowed on the center of their comrade's forehead.

“I should pop it.”

The zit did cast a shadow…

Guang-hong walked to Phichit's side, his reflection appearing in the mirror.

“No,” said real and mirror Guang. “We can just put makeup on you. Do you know how much more noticeable it’ll be if you pop it? The skin will get red and god knows, there’s not enough concealer in the world to hide that shit.”

“It looks like it’s breeding,” Phichit intoned, lost to Guang's reasoning.

Since they were in a fancy ass suit store, they had people sprinkled around, handing out alcohol and all sorts of snacks. Leo sat on a couch and whispered horribly to the weird waiter guy to bring Tequila.

Guang-Hong glared at Leo through the mirror.

“Fine. Vodka.”

Phichit whipped around. “We don't need alcohol; we need a miracle."

Leo grimaced. “On second thought, get me the drink. White Russian.”

The servant nodded. “Okay.”

Guang-Hong hollered. “Before you go, get me a blowjob!”

“Guang!" Phichit hissed.

“What, I’m not gay enough for this. I need the ammunition.”

“Get him Sex on the Beach,” Leo answered for him.

The servant nodded and took to the door at a near run.

Phichit turned and confronted the mirror. “It grew.”

The ever paitient Guang-Hong sighed, “It did not and—“ he swatted at Phichit's hands when he reached to pick at the bulge. “I swear to god, I'll slap your ass."

“Wow. How kinky."

“You two are doing nothing to help this.” Phichit whined.

"I wash my face, can't relate."

"Leo, you're not helping!"

"Aw c'mon, it's not that bad, ok?"

It was at this crucial moment that Celestino happened to charge inside. “ _Jesus_ , Phichit. That’s one hell of a zit. Thought it was the moon.”

“I’m popping it. Everyone take cover.”

_“No!”_

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Otabek lazily dragged his black luggage to the small moving truck in the driveway. He didn't pack a lot, just clothes and hygienic essentials, but he's not the only one packing it up so he tosses the bag in and gives the all clear for the mover to close the back.

"Are we all good?"

"Yes. And we _look_ it too." Otabek returns. Usually he's not that bravado with words, more with music. People don't know him because he's a bold figure, but rather for what he outputs on disks and the legendary mixtapes that put all those memes with " _my mixtape spits fire_ " to shame. You think that shits a joke? If there was a sole creator tracked down for that, or an actual defenition, you'd find Otabek. The man was a _god_ behind the booth.

...point taken, said god didn't make comments often. Especially when complimenting himself or others, so when the almighty Otabek Altin said you looked good then that meant you were fucking _balling_ boi.

Yuuri - bless anybody within a 2.3 mile radius who could witness the beauty - gave a smile that could stop earthquakes and create world peace. This shit could cure cancer at how glorious it was. "Great! Ready to go?"

"I've been ready." Seung-Gil mused. He was looking and playing almost every bad boy at once, and damn was honey slaying the look. Four words for the three men. Leather, torn jeans, and H-O-T.

"Yea, is the car here yet?"

"Mmm." Yuuri hummed. He reached up involuntarily to tweak the ditched glasses he left, and decided to play with the slicked hair behind his left ear. "Seung-Gil and I thought it would be quite to your liking."

"Oh?"

Seung-Gil gave a rare toothy grin. "Yep. Look in the garage."

And Otabek did look. The three walked over and Otabek's eyes bulged at the sight.

Two words.

_Hot damn._

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

* * *

 

chathoir @chathoir · 20m 

for all you victuuri shipppers out there, I want to warn ya'll now. If you FUCKUP THIS PRECIOUS SHIP I WILL COME TO YOU HOUSE IN THE UNHOLY HOURS OF THE NIGHT AND STAB YOU WITH A SHARPENED DILDO MOTHERFUCKER. ok that's all, enjoy the show. 

 

eros-daddy @eros-daddy · 17m

I'm likin all this NSFW art tho amirigt

 

jesustkaethewheel @jesustkaethewheel · 14m

if chris and yuuri don't get drunk together and strip at least ONCE then I'm suing 

 

niktorvikiforov @niktorvikiforov · 12m

Ive waited so long for this shit. Iif anybody tries to tear me away from my damn tv i'm going to jail for homicide. 

 

mrsnikiforov @mrsnikiforov · 8m

@niktorvikiforov am I the only one here that thinks Viktor is actually straight???

 

gayson24 @gayson24 · 7m

@mrsnikiforov oh honey, viktor's gayer than Elton john riding a rainbow 

 

chickenfuckets @chickenfuckets · 5m

30 MORE MINUTES TIL THEYRE LIVE AND BLESING MY VISION 

 

kasudamn @katsudamn · 4m

What I'm expecting:everyone interacting and learning more about one another. Everyone bonding and enjoying their summer together like a big family. 

What I'm probably going to get: Viktor pining after Yuuri, everyone being huge dorks, lots of screaming and crying.

 

fucktyler @fucktyler · 3m

Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Gonna Be The Only Thing I Tweet About For The Next Week. Ive Wanted This For Years Fuck. What The Fuck. 

 

yaoiqueen @yaoiqueen · 3m

I bet ten dollars Viktor passes out when he sees Yuuri

  
mrsnikiforov @mrsnikiforov · 2m

I bet you 20 he doesn't @taoiqueen

  
crispinoburrito @crispinoburrito · 1m

This shit is so big guys. like I heard even Ru Paul is gonna watch this shit

 

kejurokiddo @kenjurokiddo · 1m

@crispinoburrito oh really now?? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

RuPaul @RuPaul · 1m

@kenjurokiddo @crispinoburrito you bet your happy ass I am #FallingForFame 

 

 

* * *

 Twitter

2:38 PM

Trending Now

#FallingForFame  
#Victuuri  
#ViktorNikiforov  
#YuuriKatsuki  
#3AMSoNs  
#vlds4  
#wavyeyebrows  
#Eros  
#MLBs2  
#southpark

* * *

  **✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

20 minutes away from a soon to be iconic Miami mansion, the white hummer limo cruised at 89 mph. Now, usually limos were advised to go slower, but Phichit had insisted earlier for Leo and Guang-Hong to get matching outfits for a good first impression with the other celebrities. At first, it was like a horror movie, but after a trip to the cosmetics shop and a couple hours of Phichit fishing for compliments, the worse was endured and everything was worth it.

"We need to take a selfie!" Phichit yelled-thank his lucky stars that the lady in the Sefora store had a magic wand for a concealer brush. Leo wasn't one to turn down a good photo because he's not gonna brag, but damn did he look fine as fuck right now.

"Hell yeah!"

Guang-Hong snatched the phone away from Phichit and gave a smirk. "Say cheese!"

A few photos taken later and some more self-complimenting at their replicated James Bond suits and slicked back hair, the trio were giggling at the stream of Viktor's reaction to the Eros video on YouTube. When the talk show had premiered last night, Yuuri had turned as red as a tomato and Seung-Gil had walked out the room. Phichit's not gonna lie, he screamed like a little bitch when Viktor started fanning himself. Guang-Hong didn't make it better when he read live tweets about the show and screamed when someone had indeed; deciphered Viktor did not say "I want burgers and fries" but rather "crush me with your thighs."

The situation wasn't helped when Phichit had tweeted at Viktor with "SAMEEE."

"Do you think Yuuri rode with Seung-Gil cause he doesn't wanna be teased by us?" Guang-Hong asked when the video had ended.

Leo shrugged. "I don't think so. Yuuri always rides with Seung-Gil when we're not on the tour bus."

"Well," Phichit huffed, crossing his legs and giving a cheeky smile as he leaned back. "He missed out on all this. I don't know about you guys, but I feel rather classy."

"Mmm mm, as I, Sir Chulanont." Guang-Hong said, attempting to sip his sprite bottle with his pinkie up.

Leo, a quick motherfucker, noticed their facade in gentlemen ways and eagerly joined with his own coke bottle being drunk with a pinkie now. "Here here men."

"Why!" Phichit chortled. He actually chortled some god awful laugh that made Guang's eyes bulge at the authenticity. "I'm sure our two other comrades are sitting in Yuuri's small red coupe listening to MCR."  
  
"Indeed. Indeed."

"Quite the contrary, I believe." Leo mused, taking a sip. "Seung-Gil had informed me that he and Yuuri were trading in a new vehicle for transportation. Perhaps an SUV?"

 _"What?!"_ Phichit squawked. "Why was I not informed of this?"

"Because everyone hates you."

Phichit whipped towards the submerged inner window and glared at Celestino who sat in the drivers seat with a smirk.

"Why do you hurt me so, Mario?"

"I'm _not!-_ " Celestino sighed. "Shut up. I actually opened this to tell you we're here."  
  
"No way!" Phichit launched himself towards the window with the speed of a rocket and smushed his face against the glass. Outside were crowds of people behind lines of tape to prevent them from running at the limo.

"Boys." Phichit declared, turning to the two other occupants in the vehicle. "Today we become men."

Leo snorted. "I'm already a man, dafuq you mean?"

Phichit's voice cracked, "Play along, god!"

**✧・ﾟ: *✧・ﾟ: ***

Georgi is an awkward man, but he's as dramatic as a fucking Disney princess crying in the woods about some insignificant petty ass problem, so that's why he likes to think he was chosen to be on #FallingForFame.

Y'see, Georgi's clearly at a disadvantage with a few things. Actually a lot of things. One, he's not an actor or a rockstar like the big dogs he's about to be crammed in a house with so that's already a low rating for him. Another is, he's not really a people person. Especially not after that THOT Anya. Thirdly, he's the only author in the god damn house. Like really? If someone had to choose between him or Viktor Nikiforov, you can bet your fucking ass they're gonna choose the golden boy with the heart shaped smile.

Hmm, if Georgi's really considering why he was included with the cast, it's probably due to his past. A long time ago when he was a wee lad, he was a child actor under Yakov's management. He left for his own personal reasons, mainly for a proper education, but he's pretty sure people who remember him are gonna have their interests piqued at their reunion.

Georgi inhaled sharply when he pulled into the gravel driveway for the mansion. The house was gigantic, but of course it's going to be, because it's a fucking mansion. As he drives by, he's instantly enamored by the colorful garden and the rocky pathway along the driveway. He's pretty sure he just saw a waterfall too, but he kinda got distracted by the sound of the ocean near by. The waves were hella relaxing, so can you really blame him?

"Oh my god." Georgi breathed. One, he's glad that the distant camera lights from the paparazzi are far as hell, but he's still surprised at the amount of flashing lights. When he had passed by about ten minutes ago, crowds of people were pressed against a police barrier trying to peer at who was inside his black Durango, but the crowds were sorta swept towards the front when the pink cadalic glided in. Now Georgi isn't a great guesser, but he knows damn well the only extra people to drive that thing was Viktor and Chris. Maybe the 3am SoNs too, but he's also sure not all five of them can fit in that damn car.

"What the fuck..."

Ah, what the fucketh indeedth. When Georgi pulls up to the front of the mansion, he's a little concerned because he has no idea what he just brought upon himself. There were four cars in the drive way at the moment, so with that, there's clearly a few hidden cameras sprinkled around to capture whatever he's just entered. Now, he wasn't expecting to be the first one, that's for sure, but he is insanely curious at why everyone here is having some sort of...music battle?

Georgi stepped out of the truck and covered his ears at the noise. JJ and Yuri Plisetsky were here. That much was obvious due to their arguing. The Crispino twins seemed to make it as well. They were...uh I guess the situation explained would be better.

Yuri and Mila had arrived first in the sleek limo Yakov had driven them in. It wasn't long til JJ arrived in some red truck with a trailer attached, blasting his own music with the windows all opened. When Yuri heard the music, his automatic reaction was to turn up his own to block out the trash. When that happened, Mila; being the instigating little shit that she was, had yelled out "Fight! Fight! Fight!". This is when Yakov came out to hearing the theme of King JJ blasting out a truck with a smug Canadian rockstar laying on the hood, while a blonde Russian sat on the top of the car flicking him off as Mila turned up ['I Write Sins Not Tragedies'](https://youtu.be/vc6vs-l5dkc) by Panic! At the disco.

Shortly after this, the Crispino twins arrived. Sara was an enthusiastic gal and a quick witted one too, so it wasn't long til Bruno Mars [24K Magic ](https://youtu.be/UqyT8IEBkvY)was blasting and a pair of twins were aggressively singing along and jumping on their car. Yakov already had a headache at this point, but the gods had no mercy for the bald man who had no control over the demons he managed. 2 minutes later and the [Fergalicious](https://youtu.be/5T0utQ-XWGY) song was the only warning Yakov had before a pink cadalic cruised into the driveway with Viktor and Chris stepping out wearing a pair of fucking Gucci sunglasses in the middle of the evening with a Starbucks cup in their god damn hands.  
  
As far as Georgi can tell, Viktor and Chris are winning the battle. He can't think over the music and he's humming along to the beat. Chris climbed on top of the hood and started twerking. Right now, Georgi can decipher a few lyrics like _"to the, to the, hit it Fergie!"_ Ahhhh and Viktor just dabbed and now he's galloping around the car and Yakov's yelling at Yuri because he's apparently trying to put on Eye of the tiger.

Hm. Something's never change. Even as a child, Yuri was angsty and Viktor was extra af.

"Georgi! Hey, come over and help us!" Mila called happily. Yakov glared at him in an instant as if daring him to, but Georgi's a grown man and he's not afraid of that-

 _Holy shit_ , nevermind. Yakov was as terrifying as ever, holy fuck.

"Uh, no thanks." Georgi called back. He didn't want to die today, thank you very much.

"MY SONG IS BETTER!"

Chris fell off the hood of the car and JJ scoffed the exact moment Minami pulled into the driveway playing 3am SoNs very loudly. Yuri screeched and Mila side eyed Viktor when he gave a loud cheer. The traitor. Georgi snorted and walked towards the center where everyone seemed to be hanging out.

Minami hopped out of his car and gave a toothy grin. The boy looked like a chihuahua at how much he was shaking in excitement. "Ah! It's such an honor to meet you all!"

"Same for us." Sara spoke. Mickey didn't seem to have the same idea, seeing as how his arms were crossed and he refused to make eye contact.

"Yeah!" Viktor agreed. "It's nice to meet everyone! I'm Viktor Nikiforov!"

"Oh my god, everyone knows who you fucking are, Viktor." Yuri hissed. Viktor pouted and Chris laughed.

"Get rekt you little shit."

"Shut up Chris."

"Yeah yeah yeah, well I'm-" JJ had begun to point at himself in an overly extravagant introduction when [Candyman](https://youtu.be/-ScjucUV8v0) by Christina Aguilera began to play. At first, everyone looked around to see who had turned up their music, but when yelling came to focus from the entrance, it was clear that someone new was here.

Minami screamed bloody murder.

Yakov hissed and covered his ears, and everyone else nearly had a heart attack. The limo slowly parked in the back and Minami began to bounce on his heels at the sight.

"The 3am SoNs are here!" Minami squealed, and suddenly Viktor was wheezing because if they were here then that meant-

"YUURI-KUN!"

Minami bounded over and Sara, Milla, and Yuri ran over in excitement, before Yuri stopped and took a deep breath. He was a bad bitch, he didn't run like an excited fangirl. What the hell had gotten into him?

"Otabek!"

Ok, fuck being a bad bitch. Otabek was in the limo so _YEET._  
  
When Yakov and Michele made their way to the boys, it was a little surprising to see only three of them. Even Celestino seemed confused at this, seeing as he was looking around the parking lot and eyeing the cars. The one called Phichit didn't seem too fazed though. He laid against the open door with his hands in the pockets of an expensive looking suit while the one named Leo was getting questioned.

Minami had deflated when he hadn't spot Yuuri. Even Viktor was trying to mask his surprise by drinking coffee. "I thought Otabek rode with you guys."

"What? I thought Otabek was riding with you?" Guang-Hong spoke up.

"Nah, he said he was going to try and ride with you guys. He said his stuff wouldn't fit in my car." As if to prove a point, Minami jabbed his thumb in the direction where he parked.

"Well where the hell is he? I thought there was five of you guys anyways?" Yuri grumbled. Phichit, oh bless his oblivious soul, shrugged.

Yakov, who was standing by Celestino and watching everyone question the others, nudged the Italian manager. When Celestino raised an eyebrow, Yakov gestured to the limo. "Did your boys annoy you also?"

"Oh god yes." Celestino whispered back, then chuckled. "I imagine Viktor and Yuri gave you a hard time?"

"No, no," Yakov paused. "Well yes, but Viktor didn't ride with me, thank goodness. He rode with Christopher Giacometti. If that man had rode with me, I would've been bald by the time I reached Miami."

"Ha, I'd imagine a boy that flamboyant would be difficult to manage. You're doing a good job as far as I can see. Plus, the only reason I'm not bald yet is most likely due to Yuuri." Celestino replied.

Yakov hummed. "Isn't he the same man that seduced my client and went viral?"

"Um," Celestino flushed, then coughed. "W-well that's not usually like him. My boys have their own qualities about them that make them who they are. Leo is the friendly one, very kind and loyal. Guang-Hong is the adorable one as the fans like to call him. Seung-Gil is the brooding type, not really a fan of socializing. Phichit is just-" he took a deep breath. "-very enthusiastic. Yuuri on the other hand is the responsible one of the group. It's like he took after his mother."

"Well Mila, Viktor, and Yuri are all annoying bastards to me." Yakov remarked lightly. The two managers chuckled at the joke until something that sounded like an engine revving grabbed the attention of everyone.

_You were a problem child_

_Been grounded your whole life so now you run wild_

_Playin with them good girls, though that ain't your style_

_You think your hot shit, ooh I love it. I love it. Yeah yeah._

JJ- the man who was as egotistical as they came, the king, the legend, the man who could never be silent- gasped and watched in awe with everyone else as a fucking badass Batmobile replica glided into the driveway, blasting music.

_Stumbling but yeah you still lookin hella fine_

_Keep doing what you do and Imma make you mine_

_Well you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you_

_And I'm like hot damn, let me make you my boo_

_Cause you can shake it shake it shake it, yeah you know what to do_

_You're a[hot mess](https://youtu.be/Dq4NlL5ZWZs), I'm lovin it, hell yes_

The music blared even louder as the butterfly doors opened on both sides and out stepped Otabek and Seung-Gil. Yuuri circled around the car from the passenger side as the three men leaned against the car with their arms crossed, looking bad to the bone and every synonym for panty dropping fine as they could.

Dear god. Viktor's way of thinking was weird, mind you this, but the first idea that popped into his mind was Yuuri sauce. Imagine that? If there was some inexplicable way to sale Yuuri's hot ass in a bottle of hot sauce, no one could compete with that spiciness. Goodbye tobasco, Taco Bell packets, and chipotle pepper, it was nice knowing you.

Habenero who? Never heard of her.

Seeing Yuuri, actual Yuuri right there in front of him— there were chords being struck within him, major chords. No minors. Viktor had dated guys before, been with a few for a while, but crushes had their symptoms and none were applying to Viktor.

Actually, they were a health hazard, Viktor would need to check with his medical insurance provider about it—

Let him put it like this—

If crushes put butterflies in your belly then whatever Yuuri did to him put Hornets in his. Poking and stinging. Buzzing and buzzing.

His heart was similarly fucked—

Making Viktor feel as though his heart was hooked up to a car battery and getting a jump each time Yuuri moved or smiled softly at whatever Otabek had said to him. Each little moment being recorded into memory.

His knees didn’t weaken—

First, he had no knees. Yuuri didn’t pull the ground from under his feet, he obliterated the earth, gravel, sand and all.

So imagine yourself minus knees and ground for leverage and a firestorm drawing in everything within its gravitational pull. In this equation, that included you. Oh yea and no brakes or S.O.S signals either.

Essentially—

It was a lot like sitting inside a burning house; the flames licked near, but never touched his skin. Hot, but manageable. A nice house though, very modern with marble countertops veined with wooden floors and espresso cabinets.

He had a boner. God he _really_ hoped the cameras aimed at him right now weren't catching this.

Wow, to make this situation a million times worse, because why let Viktor have any small mercies, Yuuri gave some laugh that made the angels hang their head in shame at how beautiful it ringed. It was a real show stopper, made everybody pause to hear and allow that twinkling melody to tinker. This was the shit that inspired romance novels and best selling romantic comedies; a medic was needed on standby. Seung-Gil seemed to notice how enraptured Viktor was and it was already too late to look bashfully away when Yuuri's eyes were on him and _fuck._

Where was the medic?

"Um-"

_"YUURI-KUN!"_

Yuuri gave a puff of air and made an "oof!" when Minami collided into him with the speed of a bullet. It was adorably awkward at how Yuuri reacted, but you couldn't blame him when the guy had a fanboy speaking a mile a minute and clinging to him like he was the reason he breathed and lived.

"You got a fucking Batmobile?!" Leo yelled, coming into par with the whole scene. God knows their entrance topped the cherry on the cake and slayed everyone else. "I should've rode with you guys." Leo continued.

"Wow Leo! You really gonna say that right in front of my face?!" Phichit mocked, tone portraying betrayal. He cocked a hand on one hip and glared at the shrugging Mexican-American.

"It's a Batmobile."

"But the suits!"

"Phichit." Leo waved towards the gigantic vehicle as if it had all the answers to the universe. "It's a _fucking_ Batmobile."

"You think you know a bitch. I cannot believe the deceit. The lies. The broken promises."

Yuri snorted from inside the Batmobile and poked his head out the window. "Your suits aren't worth shit compared to this bad boy."

Otabek jumped at the blonde beside him. "Jesus Christ, when did you even get in there?"

Yuri flushed. "I uh-"

"Woah woah woah, where did Yakov and that ponytail guy go?" Mila interrupted. Sara pointed towards the exit where the two climbed into a cab.

Gasping, Phichit ran forward. " _WHAT?!_ NO GOODBYE MARIO?!"

Celestino stuck his arm out the car and flipped the bird at Phichit making him scoff. "You coward! Face me like a man!"

Celestino did not face Phichit like a man, rather left the limo in the lot and took off after a brief goodbye with Yakov. Mila made a face at her manager when he attempted to escape and his only response was a shrug and wave as he left in his own car. Now that Mila thinks about it, Yakov seemed rather eager about ridding the three of them for the whole summer.

Wow, rood.

"As much as I love standing around and doing absolutely nothing, I suggest we greet and get to know one another inside the actual house we'll be staying in for the summer." Michele spoke. JJ slapped his back rather roughly and made him stumble.

"Good idea Mich! Let's all head in and pick our rooms!"

Michele was about to hiss something rather brutal before Chris beat him to it. "This is the first and probably the last time I'll agree to one of your ideas JJ! Let's all go in and get settled."

Georgi and Yuri snorted at the same time, and wasted no delay in grabbing their bags. No doubt in trying to find the best room before the others. Mila and Sara weren't far behind, Mickey not being either, seeing as how he ran after his sister with a cry. Minami was still clinging to Yuuri with a grip that told anyone he was going to have to be pried off with a crowbar if they tried to move him, and Otabek and Seung-Gil left to help the trio in suits with their bags. This left a flabbergasted Viktor and a smirking Chris beside one another. One checking out a certain Eros ass while the other sipped his latte rather obnoxiously through a straw.

Wanna guess who was doing what?

"Damn, you're a whole new breed of thirsty, aren't ya?"

Viktor side-eyed Chris. "Shut up, you're literally sipping air at this point."

"Don't try to turn this on me lover boy." Chris dropped his empty cup on the ground and wheeled Viktor to look at him fully. "Go to him. Go get you that ass before you regret it your whole life."

"I have a whole summer, Chris."

"Yes, but you could die right here and now. Ever think about shit like that? Tomorrow's not promised to anyone Viktor, and you gotta take advantage of the now."

For some odd reason, that inspired Viktor more than anything. "You're right, but how? What do I say? What do I-" Chris grabbed his face and squashed Viktor's cheeks together, making him smushed.

"Shhh, don't think. Just do."

"I don't think that's a-"

" _Exactly_. Don't think. Just do it."

Viktor eased out of his grip and huffed. "God what are you? Shia Le beuf?"

"I will be if I need to." Chris grinned back. "C'mon, just do it! Make your dreams come true!"

Now it was Viktor's turn to cover Chris's mouth. "Ok! I will, shut up!"

"Atta boy! Go make daddy proud!"

"You aren't my daddy."

"Oh yeah, Yuuri is."

"Shut the fuck up! He'll hear you!"

Chris didn't shut up, he made things worse. By the look of his face, if Viktor didn't start steppin, Chris was going to moan some obscenity that would ruin his life for good. That's why Viktor darted towards a newly escaped Yuuri and took a deep breath.

Okay, stay cool Viktor. He's just the guy you've been dreaming and jacking off about for the past week. Nothing special in introducing yourself to the man you planned to make your hubby. Nope, nada, nothing at all.

With his confidence reinforced, and the impending doom Chris provided if he turned around, Viktor walked over, fully ready to speak with future Mr. Nikiforov. Who was he to be nervous about?

"Yuuri!" Viktor called. Those doe brown eyes locked on him, Viktor's heart froze and time was lost. He took a step, then another, and then-

Then he tripped on Chris's Starbucks cup and promptly fell square on his face.  
  
Chris winced and gave a sharp, sympathetic hiss at the crash. Yuuri's eyes bulged and locked onto Chris's own green ones and they seemed to share a look that mentally transferred to, _'Did that really just happen?'_

Well _fuck_ , that's one way to start a summer.

 

* * *

_Hello peeps! If you enjoy my trashy stories, then feel free to find me on my tumblr at the link below!_

**[MY TUMBLR](https://victuuriscreechhh.tumblr.com) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Viktor Nikiforov. wow can u believe how bad this is? haha kill me
> 
> alright, now before ya get mad at ma, I'll have you know I got some of the next chapter written. i'm trynna get this story done as quickly as possible cause life is hectic, so woo. It'll probably be 20 chapters total and hopefully an update every week now. yay a possible schedule I can manage. 
> 
> ALSO I linked the songs in the chapter and I recommend you guys listen to them. They're all cool and really funny or cute to me. another thing, the song Yuuri and Otabek show up with is called Hot Mess. The video I linked with that one is actually a Lance MEP so expect that blessing. ok thx 
> 
> alright kiddos. Your comments validate me and make me feel worthy to continue, so please comment. I really appreciate them and try to reply to each. If not then I probably passed out or somethin, so woops.
> 
> ah, here is a few lines from chapter 5: 
> 
> Yuri hissed like the heathen he was and scratched at Mila's arm. The redhead yelped and tossed him across the bed where he hit the wall and yowled like a damn cat. 
> 
> "Ow! The fuck Yurio?" 
> 
> "My name isn't Yurio, you rejected Annie!" 
> 
> Mila flared her nostrils, "I'm going to assault you, little boy." 
> 
> "Ha! She called you little!" 
> 
> "You're little too, JJ." 
> 
> "Bet that's not the first time he's heard that from a girl." Yuri smugly cut in. JJ gaped at him while Sara wheezed in the back and fell off her chair.
> 
>  
> 
> Editor's note: I FELL SO HARD. OFF MY CHAIR. I NEED MEDICAL HELP FOR MY ASS.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far then I commend you for soldiering on like a true MVP. I hope you enjoyed and if you liked it then PLEASE leave a comment!!! 3am me would greatly appreciate it :^) 
> 
> Thank you again!


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